Expectations
by miku
Summary: [SenRu/ HanaRu] *Completed at last!* Sakuragi thought of a plan of finally defeating the aces of Shohoku and Ryonan. Will he succeed or fall on his own trap? [shounen-ai so far...] I'm a SenRu fan but I like HanaRu too.
1. The Kaede Behind The Mask

Expectations

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic.

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship).

Part One

The Kaede Behind The Mask

Rukawa Kaede. Just the mere mention of the name brings girls and some boys to manic drooling. Such flawless and graceful moves inside the court would make the best sensual dancer envious, together with the pale, handsome face always stoic but handsome nevertheless. He is the heartthrob of Shohoku High, a member of the All Japan Team. Who would believe that this boy is full of insecurities?

Yes. He seems so good at everything he does. But unless sleeping while biking is regarded as something, that everything is only one thing – basketball. Good looks and good basketball skills… definitely, Rukawa Kaede must have been wanting for something more.

He dropped himself to the bed and stayed still for a long moment, letting the breeze from the fan cool him. He had done it again, he thought. His teammates rejoiced after their win but he just stood at one corner acting indifferently. He was happy. He was happy not only because he managed to defeat Sawakita Eiji and Sannoh High, but because his team achieved what they aimed for from the beginning. True that they were not able to defeat Aiwa because of their condition, but they knew they made the best. The people believed that too. So he was happy but he could not show it. He could not even offer a smile to his teammates.

Once he returned to Kanagawa, fans flocked around him which he found irritating. He knew that he should be contented, and even flattered, knowing that they adored him – that people adored him the way Sakuragi Hanamichi wanted for himself. He could not help it though and no one could blame him. After all, he needed rest after so many days of exhaustion. He, too, needed rest. He, too, needed rest even from basketball.

He stared at all the trophies he collected during his years of playing. If he was just a different person then, he could have smiled and appreciated all those good things that happened to him, but he was Rukawa, the so-called Ice King, that even being alone in his room could not make him release whatever emotion he wanted to release.

Sometimes he would get tired of basketball, too, but he knew he should not. After all, that was where he was at his best; it was where people appreciated him. But then, basketball is only temporary. What woud happen to him if he could no longer play? Would he be forgotten? Unnoticed? Maybe he should die even before that time comes.

But as of now, basketball is his only strong hold. He could not lose it now – not now that he is perfect for it.

_"Are you running away from Sendoh?"_

He was shocked when his coach asked him that. He never thought of beating Sendoh after their match. He never thought of beating Sendoh after the Inter-High. But everybody thought of that, maybe even Sendoh himself.

_"No…"_

_"I still believe that Sendoh is better than you."_

Kaede knew that Anzai-sensei did not mean that as an insult but rather an advice to make himself better. Better. _They mean 'be the best'._ Kaede knew that he and Sendoh were similar in many ways except that Sendoh wore a cheerful mask and he, on the other hand, an emotionless one.

Both of them were shouldering big responsibilities. People watched them with high expectations and they could not let them down. It might sound unusual for Rukawa Kaede to care for what people expect of him, but it was the truth. _Everybody is like that_. They wanted to be what others expected them to be that at times they already would not know what they really were and what they really wanted.

So what if Sendoh was better than him? He did not want to beat Sendoh to be the best after all. He saw Sendoh as a challenge rather than a rival. But people mistunderstood it. He played basketball because he loved the game; he loved the court and the challenge. He did not play because of fame, because of titles or because he wanted to defeat a complete stranger known to be better than him.

_"Be the best in Japan first…"_

Was that an order or a challenge? Either ways, he was inclined to follow.

He got up from his bed and walked to the bathroom. He accidentally faced the mirror and stared at his reflection. He could still see the bruise in the side of his eye where Minami intentionally hit him. At some point he was contented knowing that he made someone realize, or rather, remember his dream. He sighed and went inside the bathroom, closed its door and turned the knob of the shower.

To be continued…

Do you have any suggestions, criticism or whatever? Feedback is accepted: just e-mail me at miku_


	2. Unintentional Meeting

Expectations

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship).

Part Two

Unintentional Meeting

The Shohoku Team was preparing for the Winter Tournament. Mitsui was still with them making up for the lost time. Akagi and Kogure were already retired, but they would visit from time to time to check how the team was doing under the new captain Miyagi. Haruko was the assistant manager, and so was Ichiro, the former captain of Tomegaoka, where Rukawa also studied. Hanamichi was already recovering from his back-injury and was back to his constant blabber of being a tensai.

A one-on-one match: Rukawa was dribbling the ball while Mitsui was on the defense.

Suddenly, he found himself recalling the various injuries suffered by his teammates. Akagi badly injured his ankle and despite of it he continued playing, which could have been very dangerous for him. Mitsui had his injury with his knee before so much like the case of Ichiro, although the case of the latter was worse. Hanamichi, too, had injured his back and was still recovering from it. _What if one day he wakes up and realizes that he could no longer play basketball?_ What would he do? What could he do? Basketball had been his life since the day he held a ball.

Still with that thought, he attempted an easy shot and missed.

An ordinary happening, but not for someone like Rukawa Kaede; Ayako and Ichiro, who had been watching the game and the exclusive match between Mitsui and Kaede immediately noticed it. So were Mitsui and Ryota who both exchanged glances. Hanamichi saw that, too, but did not perceive the peculiarity of it so he just made his usual banter

"Ahahahahaha! Stupid kitsune! Just an easy shot and he missed! Nyahahahahaha!" Hanamichi teased, which served him a whack on the head from Ayako.

Rukawa just snorted knowing that everybody's attention was on him. He mentally reminded himself to avoid thinking negatively during games. So what if he could not play basketball again? He would just have to kill himself and end it all.

He stopped frozen on his track. Had he just thought of suicide? He mentally shook the idea aside.

He felt someone tapped his shoulder. He turned his head to see their manageress and Ichiro looking at him concernedly. "Are you all right, Rukawa-kun?" Haruko asked.

_Why do they have to notice every single flaws he makes?_ He thought, but instead of speaking out loud, he just nodded and went to get the ball.

"Rukawa-sempai seemed not himself today, na, Ayako-san?" Ichiro commented still observing the raven-haired boy. Ayako only nodded in response.

"He'd get over it somehow," Mitsui said, tapping Ichiro's shoulder. The younger boy agreed.

The practice resumed and as what everybody expected, Rukawa regained his usual playing mood.

He promised to himself never to make a single mistake again for it would only cause people to notice him.

But isn't that what he wanted? For people to notice him? What he did not want was their concern. But they were only concerned about his gameplay, anyway, he thought. It was probably what Anzai-sensei was thinking, too. The team needed him to win. So would that mean that if the team gained enough number of good players, then he would not be needed anymore?

_No._ He tried to convince himself. Anzai-sensei's wife told him that the old man did not want someone like him lose his track.

Would that mean that their coach cared for him? Perhaps. But he needed not to think of it. What matter was that the team needed him and that was enough to drive him to be better.

He stopped pedaling and parked his bike near the fence. Good thing he did not sleep on his way today, he thought. He grabbed his duffel bag and attempted to enter the fenced public court when he heard a ball being dribbled. He stopped, dropped his bag and took a peek. He easily caught the red hair of the player. It was Sakuragi. He stole his playing area again.

He watched his teammate dribbled the ball madly and rushed for the ring. He jumped high and performed a perfect dunk.

He had long admitted it: Sakura was very good with dunks.

The redhead got the ball again and dribbled it quite harder this time. Rukawa, forehead furrowed and eyes narrowed, realized that Sakuragi was mad. Really mad. But as if he had never seen the redhead mad. As a matter of fact he always did. _Always_.

"AHHH! I'll beat you Rukawa! I'm sure I'm going to beat you!!" he heard Sakuragi shouted followed by a rude hurling of the ball. It dropped in rude thud and bounced to the fence then bounced back straight to Sakuragi's face. Rukawa sweatdropped.

"He's sure so stubborn, na?" Rukawa heard a familiar voice behind him commented. He was surprised and he wanted to turn around quickly to see the expected figure, but he did not. It was unlikely of him. So after a few seconds, he turned his head slowly and calmly searched for the man's face. Just as he expected, it was Sendoh Akira.

He wanted to ask the man why he was here. He did not, of course. He just did the usual snort, "Hn," and turned to look back at Sakuragi who was pounding the ball hard as if it was the kitsune.

"I saw him passed by my apartment this morning so I challenged him to a one-on-one," Sendoh started. "I guess he improved a lot but then, I'm still better! Haha!" Sendoh continued laughing softly.

_You are just like him,_ Rukawa thought but did not bother to say it out loud.

"Then I told him to beat you first before trying to beat me. I guess that's the reason why he's so mad."

Rukawa slowly digested what Sendoh told him. _"Then I told him to beat you first before trying to beat me…"_ What was he trying to prove? He turned to Sendoh and stared at him with unreadable expression written on his blue eyes.

Sendoh noticed the look but he ignored it and continued, "Because I told him that if he was able to beat you, it would also mean he had beaten me."

Rukawa just stared at him silently. He heard what Sendoh said. He understood it. Did it mean that Sendoh considered Rukawa as his equal in terms of basketball skills?

"But as I've told you before, Rukawa," Sendoh still continued, this time a little serious, "You are good with one-on-ones but you still have to develop team-play…"

He still stood there silently keeping his thoughts to himself. Sendoh told that to him once before they went to the National Championship. At first he did not understand what he meant, but after their game with Sannoh, he realized the meaning of team-play and actually appreciated it.

He could tell Sendoh that he was thankful of that advice now, couldn't he? But then he was hesitant. Here was Sendoh, giving him advices and compliments yet he could not show a single gratitude.

"Now I guess we're equal though," Sendoh's voice brought him back to the present again. "I watched your game with Sannoh and I believe that you already understood what I meant before."

Rukawa nodded slowly and picked his bag. He should leave already. He could not stand facing this carefree guy anymore. Not that he hated him but he was being bugged by his conscience already. He did not want to have anything to think about tonight too. Sleeping had been very difficult for him nowadays.

He walked pass Sendoh and was going to pull his bike when he heard the taller man called him, "Rukawa…"

He stopped and turned his head staring at Sendoh's sincere smiling face.

"You're welcome…"

Rukawa slightly widened his eyes. How come Sendoh could read him so clearly like the way he could read his moves during their games? Yes, he was very thankful and Sendoh knew it. Now he did not know how to react. But as always, he reluctantly turned his back from Sendoh, hopped in his bike and started pedaling. He was sure he would not sleep on his way back home… or even maybe tonight.

To be continued

Do you have any suggestions, criticism or whatever? Feedback is accepted: just e-mail me at miku_

Sendoh: Now where's the yaoi??

Miku: I'm just starting baka!

Sendoh: Well anyway, what is it going to be? SenRu, HanaRu, SenHanaRu (!)??? What????

Miku: That's a secret

Sendoh: WHAT?!!!

Miku: I'll make sure that everything would be out of your expectation that's why the title...

Sendoh: Yeah, right *sarcastic*


	3. Sakuragi's Plan

Expectations

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship).

Part Three

Sakuragi's Plan

*RIIIINNGGGG*

Rukawa was getting annoyed. He had managed to doze off after hours and hours of thinking and here was this f****** phone waking him up. Maybe he should've not placed it beside him – maybe under the bed or wherever he could not hear it ringing.

He did not bother to get up and allowed the phone to ring for sometime. Then it stopped and he sighed relieved. He thought he could go back to sleep but it rang again.

Annoyed, he stood up and picked it up angrily.

"WHAT?!" was his very _cheerful_ greeting.

"Oi! Kitsune! That's not a very polite greeting, you know!" the man on the other line commented. He immediately recognized the voice. Sakuragi. _Now what do you want at this time of the night!_

"Do'aho. Do you know what time is it and you expect me to be polite!"

"Oi, the kitsune can manage more than ten words in a sentence if he's mad!" Hanamichi teased which only intensified Rukawa's rage.

"What?!" Rukawa repeated the question.

"What 'what'?"

_I can't believe this guy!_ Rukawa thought exasperated. "What made you call, baka!"

There was a moment of hesitation in Sakuragi's part before he replied, "Well, nothing… Just wanted to talk to you."

_Now what the hell is this do'aho thinking?_ But instead of saying that, Rukawa snorted and made an attempt to put down the phone. Sakuragi seemed to realize this.

"Oi! Wait! Don't be such a brat!"

_Who's the brat? You called at a very late time, waking me up, only to say 'nothing'? NOTHING?!_ "Do'aho. If you have nothing to say then it's no use talking to you at all," Rukawa said and made another attempt to stop the conversation right there and then only to be prevented by Sakuragi again.

"Kitsune!! Just talk to me for a minute, will you?!" Sakuragi did not ask, but rather, demanded.

_Why do I even bother!_ "Are you going to say something important?" Rukawa asked trying to calm his temper.

Sakuragi did not answer.

"If not then you are just wasting my time," Rukawa continued and waited for a reply. Receiving none, he made his third attempt to hang the phone but Sakuragi quickly called his name.

"Rukawa!"

The raven-haired boy sighed. "What?" he asked again between gritted teeth.

"I can't sleep," Sakuragi answered softly.

_You can't sleep?! That's all?! Dammit!!_ "If you can't sleep, baka, then don't involve me. I want to…" but before Rukawa could finish with his unusual yapping, Sakuragi corrected him. "Your fault so you're involved."

_WHAT?!_ Rukawa took a long time before finally digesting what the red-haired do'aho just said to him. _My fault?_ Rukawa stood still for a long time pondering. _I did not injure him or whatsoever… Neither did I see him today since it's Sunday… Oh well, I saw him at the court this morning but I did not do anything to cause him… sleeplessness…_

"Why is that my fault?" Rukawa could not resist asking. He heard a sound from the other line, which he could imagine that Sakuragi just smirked.

"Well… I can't sleep co'z I've been thinking a lot about you," Sakuragi confessed softly but clear enough for Rukawa to hear.

Rukawa was perplexed. What did Sakuragi just tell him? He could not sleep because he had been thinking a lot about _him_? HIM? "What's that?" Rukawa unintentionally asked. He was not actually asking; he just could not believe it.

"I said I can't sleep because I'm thinking about you," Sakuragi repeated.

Upon hearing that, Rukawa quickly put down the phone and unmindfully dropped himself to the bed.

"Whew. That was tough!" Sakuragi whispered to himself after his _conversation_ with Rukawa. He never expected that reaction though. He was hoping that Rukawa would just remain silent that he could continue narrating his so-called love-problem. His invented love-problem. He grinned. Anyway, the outcome of what he just told to Rukawa would be the same. The latter's poor game. Well, he had other reason, too.

/Flashback/

Sendoh dribbled the ball thrice and shoot it. Perfect aim. Sakuragi just watched him with irritated eyes. Sendoh got the ball and walked towards him still wearing his usual smile.

"Are you envious of me, Sakuragi?" The spiky-head asked. Sakuragi could not detect if there was seriousness with those eyes staring at him but he did no bother to think about it.

" No. Why would the tensai get envious?! Nyahahahahahaha!"

Sendoh smirked and shook his head before dribbling the ball again and made another clean shot. "Yes. You should not be."

"Eh?" Sakuragi just stared at the slightly taller boy in front of him. Yes. As much as he hated to admit it, he somehow envied Sendoh – popular with girls and good with basketball. Sakuragi could not deny that. And as much as he hated to admit it, Sendoh was better than him.

"At least you could just be yourself during games," Sendoh continued as he walked to get the ball, "You don't have to hide your exhaustion just to uplift your teammates…"

"The Tensai never get exhausted! Nyahahahahahaha!" Sakuragi once again bragged which only caused Sendoh to smile wistfully although Sakuragi did not know whether Sendoh was still talking or paying attention to _him_ or that he already had his mind floating somewhere. From the looks of it, Sakuragi decided it was the latter.

"You don't need to act happy and all right if you are not." Sendoh continued dribbling the ball again as if what he was doing was already an involuntary movement of his body with his mind working. "Unlike me… unlike him…"

_Him? Who's 'him'?_ Sakuragi asked himself.

"He's always so distant… always having his own world – his basketball…"

Sakuragi thought of only one person that fits that description. However, he waited to hear more. Sendoh was really not himself.

"He never even smiles. He never even talks about something else…"

_His_ image became clearer and clearer to Sakuragi. He thought he already knew whom was Sendoh referring to. Someone so distant whose life revolved around basketball alone. Someone who never smiled: Rukawa.

"And you're lucky he talks to you more than the others. He talks to you not just about basketball but just about yourself…"

_Does Sendoh really think that Rukawa actually talks to him? Insults him, maybe… but then… come to think of it, Sendoh was right. Whenever he insults Sakuragi, it's not about basketball just solely 'him'…_

"You're lucky that he's always around you…"

Sakuragi stood frozen to what he heard. He wanted Sendoh to go on having a feeling of where the other boy was actually leading.

"You're lucky that you always get to near him and touch him even though just to punch or kick him. You're lucky that you could face him like the Saku…ra…gi…" Sendoh's eyes snapped wide open upon realizing what he was just telling the redhead.

"You like him?" Sakuragi suddenly asked, shocked and amaze.

Sendoh did not reply.

"You like Rukawa, don't you?" Sakuragi asked again. Still Sendoh did not reply and dropped the ball. He faced Sakuragi, smiling impishly while rubbing his nape mumbling lame excuses.

"I think I got to go, Sakuragi. Next time again, okay?" Without waiting for any response from Sakuragi, Sendoh abruptly exited, shaking his head in disgust of himself.

/End of Flashback/

That's what you call hitting two birds in one stone. Sakuragi would just have to act as if he was really infatuated with Rukawa, of course not in front of the others but only in front of Rukawa and Sendoh. Then, that would cause Rukawa to be baffled and that would somehow deteriorate his game play. Then of course, he would also beat Sendoh although not in basketball. But who knows, maybe upon learning that he, Sakuragi, was flirting with Rukawa, Sendoh might be disturbed by this and weaken his game play, too and at last he could beat him!

"I'm really a Tensai!" Sakuragi whispered to himself and went to sleep, all the while thinking how to fool the kitsune and the spiky.

To be continued…

Sendoh: That's all my scene?? Those were just hints! I did not even touch Kaede-kun!!

Miku: Well, well, Akira-san, as I've told you, I'm just starting, okay? Actually… (smiles mischievously) Sakuragi-kun will always get the touchy parts! Nyahahahahahahahaha!

Sendoh: Don't be mean!!!

Miku: I'm not! What do you say about that, Kaede-kun??

Rukawa: zzzzzzzzz


	4. Uncertainties

Expectations 

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Part Four

Uncertainties

That night, Sendoh could not sleep. 

He could not believe himself. How could he lose to himself? Why did he tell Sakuragi _that_? And now what? What would the redhead think of him? 

He was not even sure of what he feels toward the Shohoku ace. Maybe he just admires him – how he moves swiftly like basketball is just simply walking. Maybe he just admires his always-calm persona. But no. Sendoh knew that behind the calm exterior, Rukawa is more than that. Just like him. They are both hiding behind a mask. But that is nothing to be admired of. The truth is, what he feels towards the other boy is sympathy. And what he wants is to pull the real Rukawa out of his façade. 

_And Why?_ His conscience nagged him. _Why did you tell Sakuragi that you are envious of him because he could always be close to Rukawa?_

He knew nothing himself. He knew nothing what made him utter _that_ statement. Sure. He could just be envious that Sakuragi had the best challenge just around him. _Right??_

Rukawa Kaede. You're such a mystery. How could someone like you cause Sendoh Akira, the heartthrob and ace of Ryonan High, the real genius of basketball, be restless. 

He recalled all the past games he had with Shohoku – he had with Rukawa. The raven boy did not fail to impress him. He laughed silently upon remembering their exchanged contest of higher score during their match in the IH. Rukawa looked so funny actually. They looked so funny. If only the players around them knew what they were actually doing, they would surely laugh at them. And during that game he heard Rukawa's voice. Rukawa actually talked to him in so many times although only in a few-word sentences. And yet, they were was still about basketball and beating him. 

"And you're lucky he talks to you more than the others. He talks to you not just about basketball but just about yourself…"

Yes. Perhaps he was really jealous of Sakuragi. But why is that again? 

MONDAY MORNING:

_Damn it!_ Rukawa cursed for the nth time. Why was he so affected by what Sakuragi told him? There were many possibilities why Sakuragi was thinking of him. Maybe he was thinking of how to beat him, or how to injure him, or how to insult him greater this time. There were so many possibilities and what? What was the first thing that entered his mind? That Sakuragi was actually… _dammit_… falling for him?! No way! Why did he not think about that before? Sakuragi _is_ a straight man so is he. He likes Haruko! HARUKO! And Haruko is a girl and he is a man and Sakuragi is a man! What was he actually thinking! Maybe Sakuragi was laughing his heart out when he realized how he, Rukawa Kaede, reacted to what he said. 

He could not believe himself. He was actually… disturbed. 

Oh well… things would clear up during today's practice; all he has to do is act normally. Heck! Why should he think about how to act anyway?

He did not sleep on his way to school again. He parked his bike and went inside the school building.

He was actually very early today and he was not expecting to see anybody – at least pathetic fan girls and _boys_. He calmly made his way to his classroom only to stop upon being called by a familiar voice.

"Kitsune! You're early today, na!" 

_Sakuragi?…_

"Hn," he snorted, still with his stoic appearance, and continued walking. 

"NAH! Matte yo kitsune!" Sakuragi shouted and ran to him then walked to his side.

_What do you want this time, do'aho?_

"I'm sorry," the redhead uttered softly making Rukawa to halt and face the companion surprised. Sakuragi stopped as well and smiled impishly. "Well, I guess you really got mad at me last night that's why you… uh… hang the phone so… abruptly…" 

_Oh…_ "Hn," and Rukawa proceeded walking again. 

"Rukawa," Sakuragi was again walking beside him.

_What?_

The redhead sighed and stopped. He already reached his classroom. "Well, I guess I'll just be talking to you this afternoon, na?"

Rukawa did not reply and continued to his room. 

_This is getting difficult!_ Sakuragi thought. One problem was that he was not sure of Rukawa's reactions. Second, a part of him could not accept he was actually doing this. He was a guy for christsake! And he was actually fooling himself too just to beat that Rukawa and Sendoh! Those two should really be beaten badly!

He dived his head to the desk that made Mito Yohei, who just arrived, to sweatdrop. 

"Oi! Daijoubu Hanamichi?" his best friend asked him and placed his bag to the seat next to Sakuragi's.

"Ch. I'm fine."

"Really now?"

"Ah Mito," Sakuragi uttered softly, his eyes gazing pleadingly to his friend. Mito just smiled at him, "Don't hate me if anything _unusual_ happened, okay?"

Mito stared at him questioningly but said no inquiries. Instead, he just smiled wider, nodded and answered a sincere, "Okay."

"Why are you so early today, anyway?" Sakuragi asked curiously.

"And why are you too?" 

Sakuragi pouted and rested his head to the desk and continued thinking. 

There would be a practice today. Now what could he do to distract the kitsune? Should he actually tell Rukawa now his _invented_ love story? Nah. Maybe he should give at least two days before he do that. Maybe he could ask Rukawa for a walk or something to give him _hints_. Yeah that sounds much better. 

AFTER PRACTICE

Rukawa was now really, really disturbed but of course he did not show it. Sakuragi had been staring at him indifferently all the time and the constant bickering _somehow_ lessened. But what was more unusual was for the redhead to offer him a walk home. 

_What was that do'aho thinking this time?_ He asked himself and continued packing. He made it slowly as to take so much time – that could make Sakuragi lose his patience and leave. 

But no. Sakuragi was still standing beside the door waiting for him. And he seemed not even bothered that Rukawa had been actually packing his things for more than thirty minutes!

_I guess I have no choice, then…_ Rukawa thought and sighed silently. He grabbed his bag and walked out of the room after telling Sakuragi that they would be leaving. 

"I just remember," Rukawa said softly and Sakuragi turned his eyes on him. "I should go to the grocery to buy some stocks."

Of course that was a lie. He wanted Sakuragi to leave him already. 

"So I guess you should go home now and not…" 

"Nah. I guess I'll just accompany you to the grocery. I'm buying some things too," Sakuragi offered.

"Oh…" _Now what!? You actually extended your time with this do'aho!_ Rukawa nagged to himself.

AT THE GROCERY

Good thing he brought enough money to buy what he 'needed'. He was glad that Sakuragi was looking for some things that actually gave him some time off. 

"Ah! I could not look for tuna spread!" he heard Sakuragi suddenly shouted. The latter was now walking towards him, shoulders slumped, lips pouted. 

Rukawa sighed and continued choosing from the products. 

"I promised Shishi that I'll buy one and we'll eat together! Ah!!!" Sakuragi continued blabbering.

"Shishi?" Rukawa could not help but ask. Sakuragi was really acting so childish but Rukawa found it so funny. Well, slightly funny. 

"Oh. She's a cute little girl in the neighborhood who adores this tensai so much! Nyahahahahahahaha!"

Rukawa sweatdropped. 

"She likes tuna spread so much!! She's really, really, really cute!!!!" Sakuragi continued dreamily. 

"Pathetic…" Rukawa sighed and grabbed some mayonnaise and canned tuna. 

"Why you! Kitsune!!" 

"We'll just make her some, then…" Rukawa offered a little uncertain. _Why am I doing this anyway?_ But it doesn't sound so bad to him.

"Uh, what?" Sakuragi asked looking so… _dumb_.

"Baka. Are you deaf?" 

"Yeah I heard that…" Sakuragi continued staring at him, "You know how to…"

"It's so simple, do'aho," Rukawa sighed inwardly and glanced to Sakuragi who was still looking at him like some… innocent… (no, _dumb_, he corrected himself) boy. _Now what have you done again, Kaede! More time to spend with this pathetic do'aho!_

But he was actually enjoying Sakuragi's company and tease him with his childish… _no, foolish_… reactions.

AT RUKAWA'S APARTMENT

The place was neat contrary to what he thought it would be. What were there were only the _necessary_ stuffs and that includes basketball. His eyes roamed around and saw a case full of trophies and medals, which were obviously from many basketball leagues that Rukawa had joined. They were not arranged though; they were more likely to have been placed there just to… place them. 

He was expecting to feel envious of whatever but instead, seeing those awards made Sakuragi _admire_ what Rukawa had gone through. But he never heard the other boy brag the team about these achievements though. He would only do superb moves to prove his greatness and that's what infuriated Sakuragi. Well, not so much. With those times that Rukawa seemed to good at what he was doing, he was envious and not mad. 

He heard chopping of onions and that brought Sakuragi out of his reverie. He turned his eyes to the small open kitchen and saw Rukawa chopping _expertly_ and mixed the onions to the bowl of tuna and mayonnaise.

"I never knew you know how to cook, kitsune," Sakuragi said without any trace of his usual mockery.

"Hn," was Rukawa's only response to him. 

Well it was obvious. Rukawa was living alone so whom could he expect to make his foods? So that would mean Rukawa was doing his own laundry too? 

It was unusual for a boy. 

But how would he know anyway? He still had his Kaasan to do these things. 

Rukawa was now adding salt and pepper. 

_He looked so much like a housewife with that apron and cooking…_ Sakuragi thought staring at the calm figure in front of him. _Now what am I thinking!!_

Rukawa covered the bowl of tuna spread and placed it to a paper bag. "There," he gave it to Sakuragi who took it unmindfully. Rukawa went to the cupboard to keep some stocks he just bought. 

"Thank you," Sakuragi uttered softly still watching Rukawa. The latter turned his eyes on him but quickly returned to what he was doing. 

"Go now. The girl might have been waiting for you too long," Rukawa reminded him. 

Sakuragi nodded and smiled. "Aa. Thanks again. I owe you one. Ja!" Then he left.

_I owe you one…_ Sakuragi thought. Now he was indebt to the kitsune!? But somehow that did not bother him. More so, he liked the feeling… Seeing one side of Rukawa that was never known to him, and to the team, made Sakuragi change a little in his perception of the kitsune. Rukawa was not so bad after all, he told himself. _Iie! I still have to beat him and Sendoh!_

To be continued…

Miku: See! I told you! Sakuragi would not be too bad! ^_^ He's just himself! ^_^

Sendoh: That's all my part _again_?!

Miku: Yes, Akira-san! It's obvious, ne?

Sendoh: That's all! That's all! And you meant this as a SenRu!!??

Miku: Who told you this is going to be SenRu??

Sendoh: Miku-chaaaann!!!

Miku: Now you sounds more like Ryota! Hahahahahahaha!

Rukawa: zzzzzzzzzz

Please! Comments everyone!!! Should I continue?? ^_~


	5. Feelings Defined

Expectations 

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Part Five

Feelings Defined

It had been five days since he started walking Rukawa home and he was learning more about the boy. Like one time, they saw a black cat sleeping in front of Rukawa's apartment. When they got inside, Rukawa called the cat and feed it. Rukawa also told him that the cat sometimes follows him to his place. Sakuragi also learned that Rukawa like listening to music, _any_ music but most of his collections include slow rock. Then he learned that the kitsune he so called knew how to cook the first time he walked him home. Rukawa was really good in cooking.

But knowing those things would not help Sakuragi in charming his way to Rukawa. More so, he actually felt like he was the one being captivated. 

And now he just walked with Rukawa _again _and was inside his apartment _again_. The latter seemed already used to this though. However, he hasn't gotten the guts to tell the other boy what was his _so-called_ feeling towards him. _Maybe this was not a good idea after all…_ he told himself. He could not imagine what his gang would tell him. Sakuragi? A very, very straight man _falling_ for Rukawa? He could just imagine them laughing. 

But no. So what does he care about? It would be just an act after all. It was not as if he was really falling in love with this pathe…tic… kit…su…

He stopped pondering upon seeing Rukawa sleeping - his head resting limply at the side of the bed, his lips slightly parted, and his bangs softly fallen covering part of his eyes which were closed with thick lashes. They were supposed to be watching NBA but they did not. Sakuragi was buried in his own thoughts and Rukawa was finally sleeping. 

_Hn. How could his professor get mad at him when he sleeps beautifully like this?_ Sakuragi asked himself and shoved a few strands of hair away from Rukawa's face. _Nani?! What am I doing?!_

Sakuragi suddenly stood up which awaken the sleeping boy. Rukawa just stared at him with sleepy eyes. 

"I gotta get going, Rukawa…" Sakuragi mumbled and quickly left the room without waiting from any response from the other boy. Rukawa, however, just nodded to Sakuragi's disappearing figure and went back to sleep.

Sendoh was sitting at the bench inside the public court. He was waiting for Rukawa actually. He called the latter this morning before Rukawa could go to school and offered a one-on-one. 

He wanted to make sure of his feelings – that was his reason for asking Rukawa's presence. He wanted to prove to himself too that what he was feeling was only… admiration of the younger boy's skills. 

He pulled his basketball out of his duffel bag and played with it for a short while. He knew he need not to bring that because Rukawa always brings his, but then… he just wanted to make sure. 

He heard the fence crack open and close. He lifted up his head to see the expected person. There was Rukawa walking towards his direction, hanging his bag in one shoulder and looking at him with his usual stoic face. He was about to smile when he saw another _unexpected_ figure, Sakuragi Hanamichi, walking behind the Shohoku ace. 

_What is he doing here? And with Rukawa…_ he faked a smile and waved to the two. "Hey! Rukawa! Sakuragi!" 

Sakuragi smiled widely and Rukawa only nodded in greeting. 

"Oi! Spiky!" Sakuragi greeted and made a run towards the Ryonan Ace. But before that, he patted Rukawa's arm as if telling him to 'hurry up'. Sendoh noticed that short contact that made him narrow his eyes slightly. He did not understand anything. Sakuragi and Rukawa were known to be _rivals_. But here they were, in front of him, walking together and Sakuragi even patted the other's arm. 

But why should he think about it anyway. Not as if he cares, right?

_Right?_

But he was feeling uneasy. He wanted to ask any of them why the sudden change? Why were they together? Why did Rukawa allowed that redhead to touch him? Why… why was he, Sendoh Akira, jealous?

"I did not expect you to be here, Sakuragi," Sendoh asked honestly still smiling. 

"Oh, yeah. But I'm walking Rukawa home so I guess I should wait for him finish his one-on-one with you, na?" Sakuragi confessed rubbing his nape anxiously. 

_Oh… you're going to walk him home… yeah… walk him home… walk him home…_ "Yeah? So I guess we better start the game early, na, Rukawa-kun?" Sendoh turned to Rukawa who just placed his bag at the bench. He was still smiling and oh how he hated that smile especially now that he wanted to punch Sakuragi at his face. 

_Punch Sakuragi at his face…_ Sendoh repeated in his mind at the same time trying to shake it aside. _So you are really jealous, Sendoh…_ he confirmed to himself.

How could he not realize his feeling when he had already hundreds of relationships in the past (oh, well that's exaggerating)? But then this was different because Rukawa is a guy and he could not really believe that he was actually _falling_ for a guy. How many times did he deny it to himself? TO _himself_. And then what… admit it too late that Sakuragi was actually hitting it on with Rukawa? 

He was snapped back from his reverie when Rukawa tossed him the ball. "First one to get ten points…"

He smiled and this time it was genuine although he was still not sure of many things. But just seeing Rukawa and hearing him talk… Damn, he had really fallen hard.

And so they started the game. Both players were so good that it took them almost an hour to finish and to think it was only a matter of ten points and they played almost as long as one official game. Sendoh won by one point though.

During those time of facing Rukawa made Sendoh to forget Sakuragi almost completely. During those times, Rukawa was his and his alone. Maybe that was the reason why he wanted to play with the younger boy so much. He could dance with him. He could face him like they have a world of their own. Sendoh sighed inwardly. _And now that you realize it, are you not going to do something?_ He shook his head wistfully and joined Rukawa in walking back to the bench.

Both players were panting heavily. Returning to the bench, both quickly got their bottles of water and drained it completely. 

They were both exhausted and their sweats were pouring madly (exaggeration again ^^). Sendoh was really smiling genuinely this time although he was still pained – still pained of having uncertainties whether to pursue his feelings or not.

"You two are really good," Sakuragi admitted softly. His eyes were gazing at the floor and they were… serious. 

_Oh, at last you admitted it, 'Tensai'…_

"All I could do was sit here and gawk with your incredible moves,…" the redhead continued.

Sendoh was now feeling sympathy towards Sakuragi, his jealousy was set aside.

"It's hard for me to admit it but…" Sakuragi's eyes were glistening with tears and were threatening to flow. But never a single drop did. The tensai would not allow that especially in front of his two rivals. 

Sendoh smiled pitifully and was going to say something when Rukawa spoke up, "Come on, do'aho. We're leaving."

With these, Sendoh smiled pitifully once more but this time for himself. He was hurt again. Why? Because he knew that Rukawa just said those words to somehow ease Sakuragi. And why again? Because he was jealous? Why is that? Because that proved that Rukawa cared for him somehow… and maybe… even more…

"Ah, hai!" Sakuragi agreed trying all the cheerfulness in his voice. He stood up and grabbed his and Rukawa's bag. He gave it to Rukawa who just finished wiping his face with a towel. 

"Bye, Sendoh!" Sakuragi shouted happily and Rukawa only nodded _again_. 

"Ja…" Sendoh uttered softly but enough for the two to hear. 

The two were almost out of the court when Sendoh called Rukawa. The latter stopped to look at him inquiringly.

"You have to beat me next time, Rukawa-kun!" Sendoh challenged which only earned him another _nod_ from his challenger. 

"I will…" Rukawa whispered to himself and the two began their scenic walk home. 

As Sendoh watched the parting figures, he could only bite his lower lip in anger. He was mad because he could not show Rukawa his true feelings. He was mad because Rukawa was with Hanamichi. He was mad because he still could not accept that he was jealous. He was mad because he had fallen so deep with Rukawa and yet he could not do anything. 

Was he scared? Scared that Rukawa might reject him? Was he scared that Rukawa might actually choose Hanamichi between them? But wait…

Does Sakuragi really like Rukawa and he was finally ready to admit it because Sendoh, almost completely confess his feelings and that Sakuragi thought that he should make his move or else Sendoh would make his? 

But Sakuragi never even hinted at first that he liked the kitsune?

Or maybe he realized it just recently… like him…

Maybe it was not too late though. He could still make his move unless Rukawa finally choose between them or even no one between them. He should take the risk now, right? Yes. He should. Even if it means fighting Sakuragi. He should. He would.

To be continued…

Miku: How was that again minna??

Sendoh: That sucks… Me? The heartthrob and ace of Ryonan High only to be rivaled by Sakuragi?!?!

Miku: Yeah…

Sendoh: But still! I did not get to touch Kaede-kuuuunnn!!!

Miku: But you competed with him and that's enough.

Sendoh: For him perhaps but I want more! And I mean MORE!!!

Miku: Really hentai, are you?

Sendoh: When will you wake up Kaede-kun???

Rukawa: zzzzzzzzz

Miku: I guess he would wake up by the time this fic is finish. ^_~


	6. Fears

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Thanks to those who review again. Well… Ruhana/HanaRu… ^^; I'm not yet sure… it depends… oh well, let's just see who will Rukawa choose, ne?

Thank M.S Renae for telling me about the settings… well… I'm new so… hehe ^^; 

Anyway… on with the story! ^_^

Part Six

Fears

Today, Sakuragi walked him home again. Actually, he was beginning to feel at ease with the other boy. But no. He should not. 

But then, why not? Why not try to be close to someone again?

_And be hurt in the end?_

He had experienced being close to a number of people and those people left him. His mother and father died. His sister went to New York at an early age to be with her boyfriend there. He had once a best friend who also left to America to study. And he had liked a girl once who rudely rejected him even before he could tell her he liked her. 

Yes. He _liked_ someone before and he was rejected. Funny though that it was because of basketball. Not that Rukawa had his whole time for basketball but during that time, he knew nothing of the said sport. And that girl liked another boy who was so great with basketball at that time. He tried to learn the sport to get the girl's attention and he did. Only, his interest with the girl vanished and his life became centered to basketball alone. 

So was he thankful of her? 

No. 

He recalled his family again. His sister and his best friend. Another funny thing too that he wanted so badly to go to America – where the closest people he had chose to be rather than with him. 

He sighed ruefully. Sleep was getting difficult tonight again. Then he remembered Sakuragi. 

He looked so lonely this afternoon after witnessing his and Sendoh's one-on-one. He wanted to somehow comfort the man but it was not like him. Rukawa Kaede never does that. He could somehow uplift Sakuragi's waning energy by insulting him or literally kicking his butt, but then… during that time… that afternoon… he wanted to tell Sakuragi something he deserves to hear – that he was good, that basketball is really for him.

But what did he tell him? Come on, do'aho, we're leaving? How could that help his teammate?

Oh well… maybe next time he could try his best…

Then suddenly, an image of a spiky-head boy flashed in his mind. 

Sendoh was not himself that afternoon. Almost all the smiles he made seemed so… untrue. And the way his smile suddenly falters upon seeing Sakuragi…. Did they have a fight? They were together Sunday morning, right? 

He sighed.

Sendoh Akira. How could he thank him? The least he could do was actually just tell him how grateful he was for all the advice that he gave. The older boy had been so kind to him but he could not do anything to repay him because of his stupid pride and image. 

But Sendoh knew him. Sendoh could read him like an open book and he wonders how the man could do it. 

He could read Sendoh somehow too. He could distinguish if his smiles were real or not. Maybe that's because they were the same. Yes, perhaps that was the reason.

Rukawa wanted to sleep already but he just could not. Then he remembered that tomorrow is Saturday and Sakuragi asked to have lunch with him before going to the practice. He was curious at first but then, what's wrong with an innocent offer of lunch? After all, they were teammates… Hmm… maybe he really should sleep now or else his mind could drift to some _unnecessary_ and _uncertain_ thoughts.

Rukawa would be surprised to see him at his apartment this early, Sakuragi thought. He wanted to fetch Rukawa and together they would go to a restaurant to have lunch. And perhaps there he could finally _confess_ so that in their practice that afternoon, he could see the consequence. 

How would Rukawa react upon opening the door and finding him there? Perhaps, surprised? Yeah. How he would like to see those always-scrutinizing eyes widen in aghast. How he wanted to see Rukawa react with all the things he does. _Hn. Funny kitsune…_

Sakuragi's brows furrowed upon realizing what was he actually thinking. He slowed his pace and sighed deeply. Was he right about this? Would it be all right to tell Rukawa something untrue? 

_Untrue?_

Yes. What he would tell him today was just made up. But would it really affect Rukawa? 

Perhaps it would if he somehow had grown a feeling towards Sakuragi… but what if not? 

Sakuragi bit his lip upon thinking that. He was actually afraid – afraid that Rukawa would not care even just a little of him.

Then he bumped to someone.

"Oi! Watch where you going!" Sendoh exclaimed almost losing his balance and dropping some groceries at hand. 

"Ah… gomen… Sendoh…" Sakuragi apologized and help the older man in picking up his groceries. 

"That's all right. Where are you going anyway?" he asked unmindful of the supposedly answer of the redhead. He was busy putting back the foods he bought to his paper bag.

"Ah, to Kaede-kun…" _It won't hurt to call Rukawa 'Kaede' without him knowing. Besides, this would help making Sendoh jealous,_ Sakuragi thought and smiled inwardly. He quickly liked the sound of the name of Kaede.

"Ah, I see…" Sendoh uttered gaining interest.

_Kaede… so that's how close they already are for Sakuragi to call him with his first name…_ "Ah, I see…" How he wanted to strangle Sakuragi right then and there. But of course he could not. Thank goodness his hands were full at the moment or else he could've done something stupid. 

"Yeah. I invited him for lunch actually before we go to practice," Sakuragi continued smiling impishly while rubbing his nape, his already nervous gesture. 

_Lunch… so you're going for lunch…_ Sendoh could not help but feel a pang of jealousy. How come he never had been together with Rukawa just to eat? It's always for basketball, for basketball and basketball alone. Maybe he's going to hate the sport now. 

No. 

It was his only reason to be with Rukawa.

But then, perhaps he could invite the raven boy to go out with him sometimes. 

Yeah. He would. If Sakuragi could do it then he would. 

"You alright, Sendoh-san?" Sakuragi asked upon noticing the unusual silence of the slightly-taller boy. 

"Aa… just thinking. Well anyway, have fun. Just say hi for me to Rukawa, okay?" 

"Yeah…"

Sendoh quickly left knowing that if he faced the redhead longer, he could do something foolish. And he had been foolish enough. 

He wanted to ask out Rukawa tonight. But no. He would be exhausted and that would only gain him a 'no' for an answer. Maybe he could call Rukawa tonight and ask for his time tomorrow. Yes. That would be better. 

He passed by a jewelry store and one poster easily grabbed his attention.

Valentine's day was near. 

He had to do something for Rukawa. Maybe he should try to spend more time with the boy and when the right time comes, he could confess. He does not want to hurry the younger boy. So what if Sakuragi would serve as an impediment? He does not care. What matters to him is for Rukawa to know that he, Sendoh Akira, loves him.

Yes. 

He was certain of that now. And he was not going to hide or deny it anymore. He could even shout to the world his feelings. 

To be continued…

Sendoh: Hey, that's not fair! Sakuragi always had the time with my Kaede!!

Miku: _Your_ Kaede, you said?

Sendoh: Yes. _My_ Kaede!

Miku: Oh well… I'm still the author of this fic… I can change that… *winks*

Sendoh: Miku-chaaaannn!!!

Miku: Well minna! What do you think?? Who do you like best?? Hanamichi or Sendoh?? Tell me and the plot might change!!! ^_^ Oh well… 

Rukawa: What if they want both? 

Sendoh and Miku: Kaede-kun!!

Sendoh: *glares to Miku* Who told you that you can call him that?!

Miku: Well, that's the same with you! *glares back*

*Sendoh and Miku glaring at one another*

Rukawa: *sighs* yare yare *went back to sleep*


	7. And Mishaps

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Whew! This is getting hard for me actually! ^^; 

Well, almost everybody who reviewed my fic wanted it to be RuHanaRu… oh well… I'm still not sure. I can't read Rukawa's mind… *sigh* but honestly, I am a fan of SenRu! ^_^

But Nakkie-chan was right, ne?? (Thanks for that! Just read her review to know what I mean) So I guess, starting from here, let's just surprise ourselves (even including me!), okay? RUKAWA-KUUUNN!! WHAT'S YOUR DECISION?!?!?!?! :(

(But for your information, minna, I'm not really into threesome, so I guess SenHanaRu, or however you arrange it, would be impossible. ^^;)

And PS: Sakuragi's not bad here. That's a promise. He's just himself. ^^;

Part Seven

And Mishaps

PRACTICE:

_You are such an idiot!_ Sakuragi criticized himself. He was standing in one corner of the gym with Ayako and was still practicing basics. The others were playing. His dribble became harder and harder as he recalled what happened that morning.

/Flashback/

After bumping with Sendoh, Sakuragi hurried to Rukawa's apartment, his plan already set. They would eat lunch together and during that time, he would finally _confess_ his so-called feeling for the boy. He even saved his money during the past few days because he wanted to treat Rukawa (and that was included in his plan, of course). 

He knocked to the door several times before a sleepy Rukawa opened it and eyes him as if he was some stranger who disturbed his sleep. 

"Kitsune! Were you still sleeping? You know what time is it, don't you? And we're having lunch!" Sakuragi reminded Rukawa and got inside the room without even asking for permission. He quickly searched for the closet, opened it, and began pulling some stuff like Rukawa's jerseys, shoes and so on. The other boy was just staring at him with his sleepy eyes. 

"What are you still doing there, kitsune? Prepare yourself already, okay?" 

Rukawa, however, just sat at the couch while still rubbing his eyes. Sakuragi found the act so cute. _Rukawa seemed so innocent whenever and after he sleeps…_ Obliviously, the redhead smiled and continued packing Rukawa's things. 

Somehow unwillingly, the raven boy stood up, somewhat grumbling, took his bath, dressed up and left the place with Sakuragi. 

They reached the restaurant (not so fancy one so as not to be really called a date, but it still seemed like a date anyway) and Sakuragi immediately told Rukawa that it would be his (Sakuragi's) treat. The latter seemed unmindful anyhow and just shrugged. 

While eating, they talked of the usual stuff – basketball and the team, although Sakuragi was the only one yapping and Rukawa would only snort sometimes, nod or utter monosyllabic words… 

After eating, Sakuragi called for the waiter and took the bill. Rukawa made his attempt to pay but Sakuragi reminded him that it was his treat. The former just shrugged again. 

Rukawa's nonchalant gestures somehow irritated him. Why could not the boy be a little nice to him? Well, perhaps he should be thankful that Rukawa had not yet kicked and punched him during the past few days but still… Rukawa seemed like he didn't care? And Sakuragi was hurt. 

Yes. He was hurt because the raven boy seemed not appreciating everything he did. 

But it was only an act, right?

As if he was doing these things to make the boy happy?

He was doing these things to make hint the boy that he _likes_ him and even somehow charmed his way to him. But of course, it's not true. It's not true, right?

Right?

But he was not sure anymore…

"Rukawa…" Sakuragi uttered softly calling the other boy's attention. 

Silence. 

Sakuragi did not know how to continue. It was the perfect time to tell the boy of his _feelings_ right? But it seemed that he was… chickening out? _Why, Sakuragi? What's making this damn thing so hard for you?!_ He nagged himself.

"What?" Rukawa asked with his still calm and monotonous tone.

_Tell him now, baka!! Tell him that you like him!! Tell him that…_ Sakuragi bit his lower lip uncertain of what to do. 

_But it's not true…_

_Yes, indeed it's not true that's why you're telling him to make him believe!_

_Isn't this your plan?_

_To disturb this kitsune and weaken his game play?_

_To defeat Sendoh and make that smiley jealous?_

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Sakuragi carelessly shouted which gained everybody's attention, especially the one sitting in front of him. He was mad. He was going insane. He could not understand himself anymore. Could it be that he was _really_ falling for Rukawa?

"Do'aho. Let's get going," Rukawa said softly and stood up grabbing his back. Sakuragi could only follow, his head still spinning with uncertain thoughts.

/End of Flashback/

He wasted a very great opportunity. But he was not mad about that. He was mad because he could not understand what he was feeling. He could not understand why he seemed so much affected when he knew that all of these were just an act after all. 

And he was disturbed.

And Rukawa was not.

That made his blood to boil more. But not because Rukawa's game play was still the usual but because Rukawa seemed… unmindful.

Unmindful of him, Sakuragi Hanamichi.

"Kakuta! Guard him!" Mitsui shouted and Kakuta quickly ran to Rukawa and tried to guard him. However, the younger boy was too much for him. Rukawa quickly eluded him, ran to the basket, and did and wonderful dunk. Everybody stared in awe including Sakuragi.

Rukawa is… indescribable…

He looked so innocent at times (especially whenever he sleeps) that it seemed so much different whenever he plays. 

Graceful and swift… those were the words that quickly entered Sakuragi's mind in describing the ace's movement. He seemed so alive inside the court. 

How his hair sways in every fleeting action he makes…

How his eyes seemed to fire up with determination…

How those capable hands move elegantly to dribble, steal and shoot…

But most of all, how his overwhelming aura conquers the court whenever he plays…

_These makes him so beautiful but he never seemed to notice it that only adds to his beauty. His naivety of how he could capture so many hearts…_

Ryota, who had walked to him (probably to tease him again) stopped and stared at the redhead bewildered. So was Ayako.

_And I guess it would not be my fault to fall for you, then…_ Sakuragi continued pondering. 

"NANI?!" Ryota shouted. Everybody looked at his direction. "You like Rukawa?!" he squealed, slapping his face in unimaginable shock of his life.

Sakuragi was immediately shaken from his reverie and stared at the great point guard.

"You- you like Rukawa?!?!" Ryota asked again unbelievingly, really unmindful of how loud was his voice. 

Everybody stood frozen and even Rukawa who dropped the ball and stared the staggered redhead. 

_What?_ Sakuragi thought. Did he just tell his thoughts outloud?

_Baka! It's obvious. Ryota heard it! And was acting like he just heard the most shocking news of his life!_

"You like Rukawa?! You like him?!" Ryota continued asking, eyes very much wide open. Ayako was stunned too but just kept still. 

Sakuragi could not utter any word. This was not how he wanted things to be. _And what? Be obvious?_ "AHH! Ryochin!! Who told you that, anyway?" He fought back and quickly threw his ball and went to the locker room. _Wrong move, baka! That would only make you guilty!_ But it was too late though, he already made the mistakes and he should prepare himself to face the consequences. 

But he was not so much troubled by the fact that the whole team, including his gundan, already learned that he likes Rukawa. It was because he was not sure of how Rukawa would react?

Would he hate him?

Would he kill him?

Would he beat him into pulp?

Or would he just not care and ignore him?

The last one seemed to be the most probable answer. And he did not want Rukawa to ignore him. But maybe he was not in love after all… maybe… he just feels like making the raven boy his friend?

Yeah. That's it. He just wanted to befriend Rukawa and nothing more. Yes. That's it! But how was his quest to defeat Rukawa? To defeat Sendoh? Was he actually wrong in making this plan from the first place?

But the problem right now is how to get out of the locker room without being made fun of.

To be continued…

Miku: I need your comments, minna! ^^; Is the story getting boring already or the phasing is getting too slow? Please, tell me! I need your comments, thank you!

Rukawa: But tell me, what is this fic really? Would this be SenRu OR HanaRu?

Miku: Oooohhh.. you're awake at last Kaede-kun? And why are you so interested anyway?

Rukawa: Because I'm bothered by this…

Miku: Why?

Rukawa: I'm tired of being uke.

Miku: O_o (Good thing Sendoh's not here… or else he'd kill me for not having him in this chapter…) Oh! Don't worry… Rukawa's POV would be coming soon. Sendoh's still existing although "his time has yet to come". And minna, the pairing is still unsure but for now I have to balance everything. After all, Rukawa has not yet told us his… feelings, right??


	8. The World Is Weird

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Very well… I already made 8 chapters! Take that note, minna! 8 chapters!! So far it had been my greatest feat! ^^; Oh well…

I'm just happy!

This chapter's Rukawa's POV of the things which happened before. And I mean _before_. From Sakuragi walking with him to Sakuragi unintentionally revealing his feelings. ^^;

For SenRu fans, you might be asking where Sendoh is? He's still out there. The next chapter would be his I guess. 

For HanaRu fans, well… the two had quite a fair share of scenes, right? 

And about this being SenRu or HanaRu… the usual minna, let's just wait and see and what happens! 

I hope you'll enjoy reading!

Part Eight

The World is Weird

Sakuragi had been very weird these days, Rukawa thought. The redhead had been acting so kind and all. He walked him to his apartment again. He was actually getting comfortable with it already. He had never thought that he would like the idea of walking with someone again. 

Sakuragi would sometimes surprise him by suddenly appearing during lunch hours. At first, he was irritated by it since the redhead could be so loud at times. But then, like the walk home, he was getting at ease with it and was even actually enjoying it. 

Yes. He was beginning to enjoy that do'aho's presence and that was what bothered him. 

He had been scared- scared that someday, what happened to him in the past would happen again. And yes, his feared time had come. He was now actually getting close to someone, someone who he never thought he would actually like even the tiniest bit, and was now getting afraid that Sakuragi would wake up one day and return to his usual state. The state that hated (well, not really hated but something like that) him so much. 

However, there's no certainty about that anyway. So should he risk his feeling? Should he risk being left alone again?

Perhaps it would be worth it anyway. At least… at least even for a short moment he could be a different Rukawa. 

But he was not. He had never been different.

Whenever he's with Sakuragi, he would only face him expressionless, utter monosyllabic words, snort or shrug. At least he was able to fight off his sleep.

But then, he felt like he was… taking Sakuragi's kindness for granted. He had never showed that he appreciated what the redhead had done and was doing for him. Perhaps someday he could.

Today, he was awakened by Sakuragi who was literally banging his door. 

They went out for lunch and it was Sakuragi's treat. 

He felt awkward really. 

Why? Because it did not seem right. 

Why? Because Sakuragi would be paying for _their_ lunch.

And what's so wrong with that? 

He was just not used to it. And because it really seemed, and felt, awkward… it's like they had a date or something…

He laughed at himself for thinking that. Of course they just had lunch together. It would not mean that if Sakuragi paid for the bill then it was already a date right? How stupid was he to think about that at first. How could he be so… overreacting like the time Sakuragi called and told him he could not sleep because he was thinking of him.

Until now, Rukawa did not know why Sakuragi told him that.

And after that, the redhead had been very kind to him.

A certain answer had been nagging his mind for so long but he could not accept it. And what was that?

That Sakuragi, perhaps, likes him.

Rukawa would not believe it. He could not get himself to believe it or even think about any possibility of it. 

First, they are both males. Second, Sakuragi is straight – one proof of that is his undying _devotion_ to Haruko. Third, he knows he is straight but he could not prove it though since he had never liked any girls at the present. But the fact that he had never liked a guy for that matter would be enough as evidence, right?

Fourth, it just seemed very unlikely to happen. 

But then, it happened.

Sakuragi just unintentionally stated (or something like that) that he likes him. 

No. Sakuragi obliviously confessed it and Ryota was the one who proclaimed it to the world. 

And now, here he was, lying in his bed, confused. Did Sakuragi really mean it? Was that true? Could it be that Sakuragi really likes him? And why was he so disturbed anyway? If this happened to other man, he was sure that they would not mind it, not think about it, or even be annoyed of it. But he was not annoyed. He was bothered. He was confused. And he was scared. 

Scared to find out the truth. 

The phone rang. He did not want to answer it because he was afraid that it would only bring him something he did not want to have. 

But should he escape? Should he hide? No. It would only bring him nothing. And perhaps, this call would just be unimportant. 

So he stood up, picked up the phone, and uttered a boring "hello".

"Rukawa-kun! Good thing! I thought that you were already sleeping!" a familiar cheerful voice greeted to him. He recognized it quickly having shared a number of one-on-ones with this guy. 

_Yeah. Sleep…_ He could not believe it himself that he was actually having a hard time to sleep! "What do you want?" he asked tiredly. 

It took a long time for the other line to speak and Rukawa was getting impatient of waiting. At last, the caller finally spoke. "I was just wondering if you would like to spend sometime with me tomorrow…"

Rukawa raised one delicate eyebrow, "You mean one-on-one?"

It took another moment of waiting before the other line answered, "No. Just to hang around, you know…"

Rukawa thought for a moment. The idea did not sound so bad. Yeah. Maybe this would help him relax somehow. Maybe this would help him to clear up his mind or forget about all the events that happened today. However, it seemed weird. Having this guy to ask him to just hang out with. He never thought that he would ever receive such invitation from him. 

But he actually liked it. It was always welcome, to be honest. But the invitation just never happened to come. Before. But now, it's here. Would he refuse it? No. 

Everything seemed getting weirder and weirder everyday.

"So?" the caller asked for his answer.

"Okay. What time?" 

He could almost hear the other line hissed in whatever emotion. Rukawa just rolled his eyes. 

"Well… what about ten in the morning? Would that be alright?" the man's voice seemed… weird all of the sudden – like he was in a hurry or something…

"It's fine. Where?" he asked, still with his emotionless tone. 

"Mmm… what about in front of the video store downtown Kanagawa? The one near the court where we sometimes play."

He knew the place quickly. "Okay."

"Thanks! I guess you want to sleep now?" 

_Yeah…_ He was already feeling drowsy… with all the weird stuff happening and all… "Yeah…"

"Okay. Have a good night, Rukawa-kun! Thanks again!"

_Ch. Why do you sound so thankful? As if I've done the most wonderful thing in your life._ "Yeah…" he replied and hung up.

With the thought that "the world is weird today", Rukawa fell asleep.

To be continued

Miku: I guess you know the man already! ^_^ Well, anyway… that's just for an added mystery (!?) ^^; (Duh! As if it really added a mystery!) Anyway, tell me what you think of the story! Comments and suggestions are welcome. No flames for now please. At least not now. I don't want to feel depress until I finish the story. Flames and criticisms would be welcome after the last chapter, okay? 

Ja now minna! Thanks for reading!

Next chapter would be on Sendoh! Yohei would be in one of the chapters too! I like Yohei! He's so kind and sweet!! ^^; Sakuragi's very lucky to have him as his best friend! ^^; 


	9. A Time To Be With You

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Nine chapters already!! I'm so happy. But nothing happened in my plot, I guess… ^^; just mind blabbering of the characters I guess. Oh well, this is my first fic. I'm excused! ^^; I'll do better someday, I hope.

This is Sendoh's chapter. ^^; For HanaRu fans, well… please don't hate him and me! So far, the pairing is HanaRu/ SenRu. ^^; Not yet affirmed! But it will be revealed soon (I hope ^^;)

Part Nine

A Time To Be With You

It took him all his guts to make that call. 

It seemed impossible for him, Sendoh Akira, to tense whenever he would do the asking for a date. Moreover, he was not used _asking_ for date but instead he's the one almost always _asked_. 

At least he managed to do it nonetheless. He could not believe himself when he froze upon hearing Rukawa's cold voice. But he somehow hid it by, what else, his always-cheerful voice. 

"Rukawa-kun! Good thing! I thought that you were already sleeping!" he said. _Yes, baka! He was probably sleeping when you called. Good timing, huh?_

"What do you want?" Rukawa asked him indifferently and Sendoh almost wanted to hang the phone right there! He was not brave enough to be rejected with his offer. He was not ready to be rejected with _him_ offering that's why he was scared. More so, the one he was talking right at that time was no other than Rukawa Kaede, the solely person who could make him feel edgy.

"I was just wondering if you would like to spend sometime with me tomorrow…" he asked hopefully. _Please, Kaede! Don't refuse me! Don't refuse me!_ He prayed secretly.

"You mean one-on-one?" 

_One-on-one! Oh Kaede! Is that what you are thinking all the time?!_ He was hurt actually. Rukawa only knew him whenever they would play. He really wanted to hang up already but he chose to continue. After all, he should not easily give up hope – that's the Sendoh everybody knew.

"No. Just to hang around, you know…" _You know… talk about us, walk together, just us… just us…_

Rukawa was silent all the while. Maybe he was beginning to doubt Sendoh. Maybe he was thinking not to trust Sendoh. Maybe he would refuse. Maybe… "So?" he could not help but ask again.

"Okay. What time?" 

Did Rukawa just tell him 'Okay'?! Sendoh was unable to remain in control and hissed in happiness. Rukawa agreed! _Rukawa_ agreed!

"Well, what about ten in the morning? Would that be alright?" he replied excitedly. _He'll be with Rukawa tomorrow not just for basketball!_

"It's fine. Where?"

So Sendoh told him the place and after a few more words, he said goodbye. 

Tomorrow, he'll be with Rukawa. At last. Should he tell him what he feels or should he wait for more time? He slept soundly that night knowing that in his dreams would only be that raven boy.

He was actually early for the first time in his life (well, not really, talk about exaggerating again ^^;). He was really excited. Although it would not be a really formal date, still, he'd be going out with _him_. He wore the newest shirt he bought. He wanted to look good even if only in a casual style (Sendoh looks good all the time ^^;). _How would Kaede look today?_

He liked the sound of the name from his lips.

He usually see the boy sweaty and tired since they would meet after each team's practices and they would play all throughout the time. He had never seen Rukawa just Rukawa - the one sans the jersey and basketball.

Anyway, he glanced now and then from the direction he expected Rukawa to take. He was actually wondering what they could do today. He did not think about it last night. Maybe they could buy some VCD's and watch them at his apartment. Then they could eat lunch outside. Then…

He stopped planning upon seeing Rukawa casually walking, face still stoic although Sendoh knew immediately that the younger boy was in deep thought – his eyes were blank, looking straight ahead as if seeing no one, specifically, him, Sendoh. 

He waved to the boy and grinned although he was pondering what or _whom_ Rukawa was thinking about. Perhaps basketball again? Or… Sakuragi? He felt his heart tugged painfully but he brushed the thought aside. 

"Hey! Rukawa-kun!" he called cheerfully knowing that waving was not enough. Calling that name made several heads turned, the way several heads turned when he walked in front of that video shop. 

Rukawa blinked twice as if only regaining his consciousness now. Then he nodded – his usual greeting. 

_When would I see you smile, Kaede?_

"Hey," he repeated while making his way to the other, still smiling. 

"Hey," Rukawa muttered heedlessly and stopped.

"So! What do you want to do first?" 

"What are my choices?" 

_Oh. Yeah. Good one at that. Now what Akira?_ "Well… we can buy some videos and watch at my apartment, buy some food for snacks or do you want me to cook (_heck as if I know how_) for you, or…"

"Then let's go…" Rukawa said softly preventing Sendoh to say anymore. The former walked inside the video shop. Sendoh followed grinning madly. Rukawa always said what he wanted without being too cumbersome. Yet, it was not good most of the times since you need to speak more in order to be understood. 

It is not that he couldn't understand Rukawa. He was tying. But then…

He shrugged and joined the boy in choosing movies. 

But then it was the reason why he liked the other boy. He's a challenge. He's unpredictable. He's just… 

_He's just the way I like him to be…_

He glanced at one of the shelves and caught sight of one title. His playful mind worked again. He picked it up and went to Rukawa.

"What about this?" he asked together with a wink.

Rukawa stared at it. It was, obviously, a malicious movie. It seemed that it had no plot at all. He slightly frowned and continued choosing from the other selections.

_Oh well, I should not expect him to say anything…_

It's such a shame though. He really wanted to see Rukawa's reaction other than 'frown' when it comes to… _stuffs_ like this. He could not judge whether the younger boy was open with this or is he the chaste one. 

But Rukawa was still young. Yeah. He should not forget about that. And he was too. They're just… well-built that they looked already like 'mature' audiences already. 

Well, Rukawa's mature, he thought. How about him?

"So, have you decided for something?" he asked leaning closer to Rukawa, trying to see his picks. He could smell the scent of the boy. Sweet yet masculine. Sendoh immediately wondered how could those two adjective got along.

"And you?"

_Oh. I was not actually choosing. I was… well…_ "Uh. Whatever you wanted. It would be all right," was his honest retort.

Rukawa just snorted. 

"So??"

After a few seconds, the raven boy turned and handed him a VCD then walked away. Sendoh could swear he saw a _hint_ of smile in that face. A _smirk_ actually. He wondered what Rukawa was thinking about. _Oh well…_ he checked the title of the movie. He just stared at it for a minute or so. Then, he looked at Rukawa who was checking other titles _innocently_. Sendoh smiled and laughed softly while shaking his head. 

To be continued…

Miku: ^^; next chapter's still for the two. ^^; don't hate me HanaRu fans. Please. ^^; (Now I know how hard it is to satisfy two opposing sides) Next chapters would be for Hana again I guess… ^^;

Sakuragi: Why did I suddenly vanish???

Miku: Oh… Hana-kun… I did not know you were here.

Sakuragi: Why am I not in the scene?!?!?!

Miku: Oh… because you had been there all along and I guess it's time to give Sendoh his 'break'… That is… unless you're jealous and you wanted…

Sakuragi: JEALOUS WHO?!?!? The tensai never gets jealous! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Miku: Really? So I can make this a SenRu?!?!? (Eyes wide with happiness)

Sakuragi: I DID NOT SAY THAT!!!!!

Rukawa: Do'aho…


	10. What Matters

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Thank you for all of those who reviewed my fic! ^_^; I'm actually taking so long finishing this fic that I could not continue my _other_ fics. Oh, if you have time minna, please read and review "Is This Just A Game". It's SenRu though. Ah… with some HanaRu too! (I never learn do I?) It was not actually finish because… I'm finishing this one first! And when will that be anyway?

Now, now… on with the story. As I've said, this is for Sendoh and Rukawa again. ^^;

Part Ten

What Matters

"Ahhh! Cookie Monster's so mean!!" Sendoh whined while watching the T.V. Rukawa picked this show, not a movie actually, a series for kids. 

_So, have you decided for something?_

_And you?_

_Uh. Whatever you wanted. It would be all right._

And this was what Rukawa wanted? Sesame Street?! Sendoh could not help but laugh at the idea. He knew that Rukawa meant that as a joke but he still bought the VCD and were now watching it. Rukawa was just sitting beside him watching, his expression still… there's no expression ^^;

He was happy. Very happy. Rukawa was joking with him. Shallow as it may seem but for Rukawa to joke about something, although he still seemed unbelievable serious, it meant a lot. Especially to him, Sendoh. And he could still remember seeing that somehow playful smile on Rukawa's lips. If it were just anybody then that smile would almost seem invisible. But it was Sendoh who saw it – someone who could see even the slightest movement in the younger boy's appearance. 

They were eating some junk foods they bought at the grocery and drinking sodas. They looked like normal teenagers enjoying childish stuffs. But Sendoh knew he wanted to be more.

He wanted to be this boy's… 

What does he want anyway?

As Rukawa continued watching, still looking serious despite really funny scenes, Sendoh found time to stare at him and study the younger boy more. 

His lashes were long. His nose was just rightly high. His skin was very pale and smooth. And those lips parting slightly to intake some food, pink tongue discreetly moistening the red lips ever so tempting to … 

He chose to avoid studying them or else he might do something stupid.

But would it be stupid to kiss him?

Yes. Because it would ruin what little they had.

"Stop staring at me," Rukawa commanded. 

_Oh. He noticed…_ Sendoh smiled sheepishly and turned his attention back to the T.V but his mind was still actually darted with the boy sitting just closely beside him. _Who would not be BAKA! You were gawking at him as if you would eat him anytime!_ He nagged himself.

The sound of a happy song brought him back to reality. The show had just ended and names were already rolling. He felt Rukawa's eyes on him and that brought a sudden jolt of electricity. Just those eyes…

Sendoh tried to smile and as successful as always. "What about my choice of show, na, Rukawa-kun?" he asked together with a mischievous smile playing in his lips. Rukawa just frowned rolling his eyes. Sendoh pulled the plastic bag of the VCD's they brought and picked one from inside. "What about this, hm?" he asked, grinning crazily. 

"Quit it, Sendoh," Rukawa commanded slightly pouting. 

The act seemed so cute that Sendoh wanted to pull the younger boy into a tight embrace. And he did. Really unintentionally…

Rukawa was obviously surprised by the sudden action but did not protest, or rather could not protest since he was still… taken aback. 

Sendoh was stunned too after realizing what he had just done but he tried to cover it up by the best cover he quickly thought of. He did not lose his hold of Rukawa. Good thing that the latter had not yet repulsed him. He eyed the boy teasingly and held him tighter. 

"Come on Rukawa-kun. What do you think about it?" _What about it anyway?_

The raven boy's eyebrow furrowed. He frowned due to exasperation but Sendoh quickly noticed the slight blush creeping on his face. 

_This is so much fun… and sweet…_

"Shut up," was Rukawa's only reply before he released himself from Sendoh's embrace. However, the taller man grabbed his wrist and playfully leaned to him. Rukawa was flustered but he tried to remain _somehow_ calm.

"Come on, Rukawa-kun. Just a forty-minute hot show… That would not hurt, na?" he tried coaxing the other, nudging and smelling the soft black strands. He wanted it to seem like a joke but he actually just wanted to be closer physically with Rukawa. Sendoh was now getting thankful of the 'hentai' image he created.

"Sendoh!" Rukawa said which sounded like a 'shout' but was still soft. 

Sendoh was now nudging and smelling Rukawa's slender neck and was even near to kissing. He wanted the other boy to call him with his name and so would he. _Kaede_… the name sounds so… beautiful for him. Unknowingly, he had stopped the playful moves and was just resting his head to Rukawa's shoulder, still hugging him possessively.

They stayed like that for a few minutes. 

The place seemed so peaceful. The happy tune from Sesame Street was already gone and the screen went blank already. 

"Kaede…" Sendoh whispered. He was not expecting Rukawa to response though. Maybe Rukawa was mad already. Maybe he was annoyed. Maybe he was still… stoic… or maybe… he was already sleeping. Sendoh chuckled inwardly with the thought. His Kaede was really cute. "Kaede… would you mind me if I call you that?"

Silence. 

Sendoh was already uncertain of what Rukawa might think of him now but… still… it did not matter as long as he could hold the young boy like this, if possible, forever…

He felt Rukawa nodded slowly before pulling away from him. He was disappointed but was not hurt. He knew that they could not stay like that forever. He was not even scared of what Rukawa's reaction would be. He knew it would be alright… Rukawa nodded in response after all. That means… he could call him Kaede from now on?

He searched for any trace of emotion in Rukawa's face. But he found none. He still smiled knowing he should be thankful enough that Kaede did not yell at him in disgust and walked out of the room.

"So then, you should call me Akira, okay?" Sendoh suggested hoping desperately inside that the other would agree. 

Rukawa nodded. He was still looking outside the window though. Sendoh was happier. 

"I want you to call me with my name now, Kaede. I want to hear to say my name…" 

The younger boy turned his eyes on him and looked at him speculating before he asked, "Why?"

Sendoh's smile grew wider. "I just want to, Kaede. Please…" he begged trying his puppy-dog-eyes. Rukawa sighed in exasperation.

"Please…" now with teary sparkling eyes.

Rukawa rolled his eyes. "Okay. Now _A-ki-ra_, will you stop it already?"

Sendoh laughed and smiled crazily and shook Kaede, abruptly but gently. "AH! Kaede-kun! You made me so happy! I love you!!" 

_I love you…_ Of course Rukawa would not think wrongly of that. How many times did he tell those words to Koshino when the latter agreed with his _stupid_ plans and Rukawa sometimes heard them.

He was holding Rukawa's shoulders quite firmly and the latter was already dizzy. 

How much he wanted this time to last forever…

The door opened rudely and a tall, redhead appeared looking more challenging than ever. 

"Sendoh Akira! I challenge you!!"

To be continued…

Miku: Yaiy minna! I guess it's not getting boring already! ^_^ Oh well… anyway, read and review okay?

Sendoh: Did Sakuragi just challenged me?

Sakuragi: Yes, I did baka! Don't you know how to read?

Sendoh: Of course I do! How many times did you challenge me anyway?

Sakuragi: Uh… well… AH! IT DOESN'T MATTER! I'M ATENSAI AFTER ALL AND YOU SHOULD BE LUCKY THAT A TENSAI LIKE ME IS WASTING TIME OVER YOU!

Sendoh: Ah! Really?!!?

Rukawa: Both are do'aho…

Miku: *nods*


	11. The Challenge

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

The last time I read my story, there were many typographical and grammatical errors! ^^; Pardon minna! But I have no plan of editing them anymore. At least you understand the story right? Right! ARIGATOU!!!!

Now… you know what, the next chapters would be HanaRu but of course, Sendoh's still in the background! ^^; 

Oh well… I think the story's going to end sometime soon… I hope so… ^^; I'm still wondering who would Rukawa choose. 

^_^

Enjoy reading! Oh. And thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them! ^^

Part Eleven

The Challenge

Maybe he should stop with his game now. 

Maybe he should stop his act already or he'll lose – lose to himself and fall – fall in love with him, Rukawa Kaede.

But the Tensai should never accept defeat. However, he might let it pass with Rukawa. He did not know anymore how to confront or face the other boy. But he would not definitely lose to _that_ Ryonan ace. After all, that was his goal before – to defeat Sendoh. 

Maybe he could still defeat him in basketball. The idea sounded better. That was his original objective, right? Yes. Defeat Sendoh with basketball and not in any _other_ way else. Yes. He would definitely win against him.

So he decided. It's today or never. If Sendoh would lose now then he would not think of any other means of defeating that spiky-head, which once drove him to _that_ stupid plan. Everything should end today.

He should search for Sendoh's apartment so he tried to find Hikoichi. But it was difficult. It's summer now and school is over. Wanting to give up although it only took him an hour looking for Hikoichi, he stood in a newsstand waiting for any miracle to occur. 

And so did miracle happen.

He glanced in one of the magazines being sold and quickly noticed a title of an article regarding basketball. The author was Aida Yayoi and it was about Sendoh. Sakuragi quickly wanted to tear the magazine apart. 

Why does he hate that man today? Isn't it that he hated Rukawa more than any other? 

But no. He could not find the strength to get mad with the raven boy again.

An idea quickly entered his mind. He opened the magazine and searched for the article about Sendoh. And he found it. There was a contact number of the author at the end of the article. Sakuragi smiled ghastly.

He was trotting along the hallway of the apartment, eyes looking deadlier than ever while scanning the room numbers. He would defeat Sendoh today. 

But could he do it?

_Of course! I am tensai! Do I doubt my ability?!_

But then… he should admit it. Watching Sendoh and Kaede playing brought him goosebumps. They were superb.

Wait a minute. Kaede? Did he just remember that boy with his name?

Sakuragi smiled wistfully. _Kaede…_ the name sounds so good… and beautiful. Yet… yet he could not understand himself. He could not accept that he was actually near to… falling. 

He stopped upon reaching the last room of the third floor. He began to doubt the idea. Maybe he could challenge Sendoh but not now. Not now. At least…

"AH! Kaede-kun! You made me so happy! I love you!!" Sakuragi heard Sendoh's voice shouting.

_Kaede-kun?! Happy? I… love…_

His heart beat faster. He opened the door abruptly silently hoping that… that… that what he heard was wrong. But then, upon opening the door, he quickly caught sight of Sendoh grasping Rukawa's shoulder and they were… very near to one another.

He felt like he was swallowed in a limbo but he did not know why. But one thing was made certain from that moment. His desire to defeat Sendoh became stronger. 

"Sendoh Akira! I challenge you!" 

There was a long moment of silence. 

Sendoh was looking at him with unreadable expression. He was still holding Rukawa and that made Sakuragi's blood boil more. 

_No body dares to touch him… even I… and you…_

Rukawa was staring at him too… with his usual stoic face. The raven boy's presence there was the only thing that calmed him. Yet it was the reason too why he was so furious… 

Strange. How could one person cause two different emotions at the same time?

"Okay! We already prepared the place! Let's go there now!" a voice quickly announced. Sakuragi quickly regained consciousness. Yeah. Yayoi was with him; he almost forgot. The woman gave Sendoh's address in exchange of being given the _privilege_ to watch the game. And that includes one cameraman in tow and a crowd for an audience.

"Uh…" Sendoh mumbled a bit stuttered. 

"Don't tell me you're chickening out?" Sakuragi taunted. Sendoh smiled – the same smile he flashed to Sakuragi during matches.

"Of course I'm not…" Sendoh's eyes narrowed a bit. Sakuragi could not read the emotion. "I… accept your challenge."

Both players were panting really hard and were staring at each other seriously. Sendoh won with four-point lead. 

"Dammit!" Sakuragi cursed and slammed the ball harshly. It bounced several times, in many directions, good thing it did not strike his face. 

Many watched the game but most of them had gone already. Some of them wondered why Sendoh was playing with the redhead and Rukawa was only standing at the side watching the game. Yayoi was now busy with the cameraman but was still attentive to her surroundings; there's still a Sendoh around anyway.

He could not believe it. He lost! But he played the hardest he could. The best actually.

Yes. That was the best game he played. It was queer though because he could not think of any other reason why he wanted to defeat Sendoh. It was not even a professional game. And Haruko was not around. 

How come he seemed to be more determined today than ever?

"You lost," Sendoh gently declared. He was still smiling despite exhaustion. 

"Ch. But I'm still going to defeat you and I'm not giving up yet," he affirmed.

Silence.

Sendoh's smile changed; from a serene, contented one to a challenging and resolved one. 

Silence still…

Then a ball was heard being dribbled. The two players looked at its direction and saw Rukawa dribbling lightly and shoot.

_He's bored,_ Sakuragi thought. He smiled. And Sendoh's smile changed again to a milder one. Sakuragi took notice of it. And that caused his heart an obscure painful thug.

"I'm always ready," Sendoh said grabbing Sakuragi's attention once again. 

Silence again…

"None of us would win yet… until he decides…" Sendoh continued, his head turning slightly to see Rukawa.

Sakuragi's eyes widened a little. "Nani… what are you talking about?" he asked slowly and doubtfully.

Sendoh changed expression. He was a little surprise now. "Oh. Why did you challenge me anyway?"

Silence once more…

Sakuragi knew he wanted to challenge Sendoh to defeat him. That was all. There's no other reason besides that. But then… his desire to beat the sophomore heightened greatly upon… seeing him… with… Rukawa. 

But no. He wanted to defeat Sendoh to prove the tensai's greatness. That's it and no more. 

"I just want to. Because I want to prove I'm the greatest…" Sakuragi answered.

Sendoh sighed and smiled. 

"What were you thinking anyway?" the redhead could not help but ask.

"I just thought…" Sendoh muttered. Then he chuckled. "I thought that you were challenging me because of Rukawa," he told it soft enough not to be heard by any other people besides the two of them. 

_What? Because of Rukawa? Why… but then…_ But then could it be true? But Sakuragi was uncertain of anything right now. And Sendoh bringing up the topic made him even more so. "What made you… think that…?"

Sendoh laughed again. Sakuragi could sense genuine happiness with that. "Nothing. But I'm glad." Sendoh faced Sakuragi a little seriously. "I'm glad I don't have to fight you with him."

_What… Fight me because of Kaede? But… but is it really…_

Sakuragi's head was aching now. But more was his heart. He was confused. Very, very, very confused. Why could he not make certain of his feelings. Could it be that he was actually falling for Rukawa? No. He liked Haruko. 

_But like and love are two different things…_ a part of him nagged him. Sakuragi shook the thought aside. Sendoh was now walking away from him and going to Rukawa. 

Another painful thug.

"Na, Kaede-kun… we lost an hour. I guess we could pay the lost hour now, na? How about dinner?" Sendoh offered. Rukawa did not respond quickly. The raven boy was looking at Sakuragi who was staring at nothingness.

"Na, Kaede?" Sendoh asked again, shoving a few strands of hair away from Rukawa's face.

"No. Next time Sendoh."

Rukawa was still looking at Sakuragi. 

"Ah, I see. But really? Even just one more hour?" Sendoh asked pleadingly. He was starting to be on his insistent mood.

"Next time, _Akira_."

Sendoh smiled upon hearing his name from Rukawa's lips. That was enough for him to obey the younger boy. "Okay! You promised next time!" 

It took a few seconds before Rukawa could answer with, "Yeah."

"Oi, do'aho. Let's get going," Rukawa uttered softly but loud enough for Sakuragi to hear. The latter just only stared at him though and after a short moment smiled. 

Sendoh was hurt. The whole time, Rukawa had been staring at Sakuragi. But he could not read any emotions. And now, he would walk with the redhead. 

Does Rukawa really liked Sakuragi?

To be continued… ^^;

… No extra people today. Sakuragi and Sendoh were both tired. Rukawa was bored to death and could not be sensible enough. The author's paranoid. Please bear with us …


	12. Confusing Feelings

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

^_^ The story is getting better I guess. 

^_^ Enjoy!

Part Twelve

Confusing Feelings

They were walking silently along the road at the seaside. Sakuragi was silent. He was under inner turmoil yet the presence of a certain raven-haired boy beside him was enough to somehow give him serenity. 

Really strange…

He was surprised upon hearing Rukawa calling him. 

_You always walk me home, na?_ Rukawa asked before they left the court. He just smiled and nodded. But he was happy, very happy. He did not know why, though. And he was sure he hinted a trace of jealousy in Sendoh's eyes.

"Daijoubu, Sakuragi?" Rukawa asked, suddenly stopping. Sakuragi stopped as well and stared questioningly at Rukawa. "It's just…" Rukawa lowered his gaze unable to pursue. "Nothing…" 

Sakuragi smiled softly, cupped Rukawa's chin, and lifted his face slowly. "Tell me… what is it?" If it would just be anybody then Sakuragi would not mind. But it was Rukawa and Rukawa was not the type who ask if somebody was feeling okay. "If you are going to say something then it would mean a lot. So?"

"That means I should speak more often?" 

Sakuragi smiled and nodded.

He was sure Rukawa wanted to tell him something important. But it was also something that would prove Rukawa's weakness and softness and Sakuragi knew that the raven boy was not used to it – showing his real side. 

"It's just that… you seemed not yourself nowadays. What's wrong?"

_Ah. What's wrong? I can't tell you that it's you, na, Kaede?_ "Ah. I just have something in mind, that's all…" he answered beaming. 

"Liar," Rukawa said and attempted to continue walking when Sakuragi held his wrist and pulled him into a warm embrace. "Saku… ragi…"

He did not know why but he just wanted to embrace the other boy. It felt like his body was following his… heart more than his mind. He smelled Rukawa's hair and it smelled sweet. After all, he had not played basketball that day. 

"Hanamichi…" he could hear Rukawa's confused voice but he did not wish to say anything. He just tightened his hold of him and kissed his forehead. 

"Hana…"

"I don't know, Kaede. I just…" _I just what?_ "I'm just confused. I don't know. I don't know what I'm feeling. Towards you. And it's confusing me," he replied truthfully, his grasp of Rukawa was getting tighter and tighter. 

"Hana…"

"I'm not sure… am I… do I… I… I don't know…" his closed eyes shut even more if that was possible. He was beginning to tremble. He did not want to lose his hold of Rukawa but then he was feeling the need to run. Run to somewhere he could be alone and think. Somewhere. Somewhere just far from the person making him suffer. The person whom he also wanted to be close to. 

But then, he chose to follow his head. Run. He pushed Rukawa gently, stepped back and looked at Rukawa shortly before he ran away.

"Hana…michi…" Rukawa uttered softly, confusedly, before he decided to walk home.

_Coward!_ He told himself, tears were beginning to flow. Why. Why was it hard for him to understand his own feeling? Or maybe he already knew what he was feeling and could not accept it. He was a male for that matter. And Rukawa too. And he knew that falling for someone of the same gender is morally wrong. And Haruko… Haruko…

"He's still did not attend practice today," Haruko uttered sadly after going to the gym and found out that Sakuragi was still absent. It had been three days. School was over but the Shohoku team was still practicing for another Inter High games.

"Yeah. I wonder what's happening to him," Yohei agreed. 

"You are his best friend, Yohei. Don't you know anything about what's wrong with him?" 

Yohei shook his head wistfully. "I checked his house today and it was locked. Like the days before. But his neighbor said that he had been going out…"

"I see…" Haruko stared back to the gym and focused her eyes to Rukawa. "I wonder what's with him…"

"Sakuragi?" Yohei asked. Haruko shook her head. Yohei followed her gaze. "Rukawa?" She nodded. 

"He had missed a few shots already. And he seemed… not on his playing mood."

Yes. That was the truth. The other members were not having a very difficult time guarding him like the way they used to. He seemed out of himself. The other members noticed that too.

"Yeah…" Yohei said in approval but chose not to broach the subject anymore. And Haruko seemed like she was thinking the same. 

Rukawa knew he was not expected to do this but he felt somehow… in blame. He was not sure though but he just felt the urge to check for his teammate, specifically, a certain redhead. 

He was not sure what to do either when he reach the place. Maybe he would retreat. Who knows? But then… at least… he wanted to do something even though it was so untypical of him.

It was already evening. He went to Sakuragi's house after practice. 

He knocked but no one answered. Maybe no one was inside? Then maybe he should go?

But his body seemed opposing his mind. His hand slowly touched the knob and turned it slightly to find out that it's open. 

Should he go inside? Or should he leave?

_Maybe not,_ he confirmed his thoughts after seeing Sakuragi sitting in one corner of the house, a bottle of beer in his hand and many more bottles on the floor, half of it were opened and was already empty. Rukawa's brows furrowed and he made his way to the redhead.

"Sakuragi…" he uttered softly despite the desire to yell at him, shook him out of his current state and punch him. 

Sakuragi lifted his face and was stunned upon seeing the raven boy. "Kaede…"

Rukawa gently took away the beer from Sakuragi's hand and placed it to the floor. "What's wrong? You're drinking and you know it's bad. You're an athlete, you know."

Sakuragi's eyes lowered again as if in embarrassment but his tone when he spoke was full of hatred for himself. "Athlete? I'm not meant to be one…" 

Rukawa's eyes widened a little upon hearing him. 

"I'm not worthy to be called one. I am not like you and that stupid jerk, spiky-head ace of Ryonan…" Sakuragi's voice was wistful and Rukawa could not help but pity him – like the way he felt upon seeing Sakuragi during his (Rukawa's) game with Sendoh.

He cupped the redhead's face with both hands and forced him to look at him. "Look at me, Sakuragi…" Sakuragi seemed refusing and was continuing to look somewhere else. "Look at me," finally Sakuragi looked at him quite reluctantly. "You don't have to compare yourself with me or to Akira…"

_Akira…_ Sakuragi thought heightening his self-pity. 

"You don't have to compare yourself to anybody, Hanamichi."

_Hanamichi…_ Sakuragi thought this time and it somehow enlightened him. Somehow…

"No body's expecting you to do that."

"Because no body's expecting something from me…"

'You're wrong!"

Sakuragi was taken aback. There were so many emotions with Rukawa right now and he seemed that he could drown in them.

"You're wrong, Hana. Look. You're different from anybody and that's what the team wants you to be. They're not expecting you to be like me or Sendoh or any other because you're Hanamichi Sakuragi…"

Was he really hearing this from Rukawa? If so then he's happy enough and is willing to die at any moment. 

"You're just the way everyone wants you to be. You're just the way you are meant to be…" 

"Kaede…" Sakuragi was happy and at the same time sad. Two clashing emotions again brought about by this raven boy. Weird but it just seemed right… He could not help himself anymore and threw himself to Rukawa who wrapped an arm around him, the other soothing his hair. 

"Kaede… I'm so confused…" he confessed. The alcohol had been on effect.

Rukawa bit his lower lip. 

"I don't know. I think I'm falling for you yet I could not accept it. I kept on denying it. I'm not sure. It's wrong I know. People might hate me for it. And most all you might hate me for it but it just kept hurting me. It just kept hurting me every time I would try to deny it and see you with that bastard Sendoh. I don't know… I'm just… I'm really… I'm really confused…" Sakuragi confessed non-stop and Rukawa was silent all the while; his embrace of Sakuragi tightened a little hoping at least it would help eased the redhead.

They stayed like that for a long moment. Sakuragi's crying had turned to silent sobbing and then was gone. He was silently resting his head to Rukawa's chest and the other was resting his chin to Sakuragi's. 

And finally, Rukawa realized that Sakuragi had just fallen asleep. 

Rukawa stared at him for a short moment. Sakuragi looked so innocent, very contrary to the way he was used seeing him. And he looked very content too and seeing him like that brought Rukawa peacefulness too.

"You're the last person I expect to care for him yet you're the only person who could comfort him," Rukawa suddenly heard Yohei's voice. He turned to look at the new arrival. Yohei had been there all the time.

Rukawa sighed and tried to release Sakuragi but the latter tightened his grasp of him. Rukawa almost smiled. Almost.

He nodded, unknown if it was for Yohei or just for himself. Then finally, he managed to be free from the redhead and gently sent the boy to a more comfortable sleeping position. Then he pulled a blanket and wrapped it around the sleeping boy. 

Done all of these, he stood up and made his way to the door passing Yohei. 

"Rukawa…" Yohei called and the raven boy stopped. "Thank you… thank you for helping my best friend…" 

Rukawa nodded again and left.

To be continued….

Miku: Poor Hana-kun, ne, Kaede-kun???

Rukawa: Ch.

Sendoh: How about me? Will Kaede-kun comfort me too???

Miku: Perhaps someday Sendoh-san! Someday… (in my other fic, hahahah)

Sendoh: Miku-chaaaannn!!!

Rukawa: Hn.

… Hana-kun's not around because he was crying …


	13. Getting Complicated

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

I added a few lines to Part 12! So please check if you have read the "somehow" revised Part 12. When I read it, it was full of errors. ^^; I was so engrossed writing the part that… well… I did not check my writings anymore. Oh well… 

Oh! Lime alert!! My friend told me that it's not really advisable to write a very long fiction with no lime in it. She's right although I'm trying hard to write one without it. But Sendoh's here anyway and what do you expect. ^^;; 

Sendoh: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?!?!?

Miku: ^^;;; gomen ne, Sendoh-san… ehehehehe

Part Thirteen

Getting Complicated  

He had been so unusual that day.

He had a poor game play during their practice that afternoon. He had missed many (actually only few, but it already meant "many" for him) shots and the others had easily eluded him at several (still few… ^^;) times. 

But most of all, he did the most impossible thing everybody would think of him to do. 

He actually went to check for his teammate and that was so untypical of him. Yet, he felt somehow at eased. He felt contentment upon seeing Sakuragi alright. It was a very achieving moment. He actually showed his concern and there had been a witness too. Mito Yohei. He wondered what the latter would think of him. 

But he was to blame, right? He was the reason why Sakuragi was indifferent during the past days even though he tried to deny the fact. So it's not as if he really cared. He's just guilty and responsible.

"I don't know. I think I'm falling for you yet I could not accept it. I kept on denying it. I'm not sure. It's wrong I know. People might hate me for it. And most all you might hate me for it but it just kept hurting me. It just kept hurting me every time I would try to deny it and see you with that bastard Sendoh. I don't know… I'm just… I'm really… I'm really confused…"

How could a guy like Sakuragi Hanamichi like him? Or even fall for him? He was an unlikable guy really even though girls worship him like some idol or something. But he was not worthy of any of it. He was so cold and distant. Always aloof and unconcerned… or maybe he did care but he could not show it. 

So what's so good in him that made even Sakuragi… like him? 

He should admit to himself that when it comes to personality, Sakuragi was better. He's only good in basketball and nothing more. So what if he's good looking? As if that's the only whole of him, right?

He's not worthy of all these affection. 

Maybe he should go to America already. Maybe now is the right time…

"So, our pretty boy is in deep thought, huh?" Rukawa heard someone uttered behind him and he knew that voice. Sendoh. Surprised he had been, he just snorted and continued walking. 

"Oi, matte Kaede-kun!" 

Sendoh ran to him and walked beside him. "Mind if I walk with you?"

Rukawa did not answer and Sendoh took it as a "yes".

They walked in a comfortable silence until they reached Rukawa's apartment. 

He did not want to be with anyone tonight yet he felt like he owed Sendoh one this time. He did not like the feeling of gratitude and actually wanting to return kindness… but… "Come in if you want to…" he offered coldly (or as cold as he could manage). Sendoh smiled and followed him inside. 

The room was neat. Unlike Sendoh's place, and to think that Rukawa was living alone… _I bet he'll pass as a wife…_ Sendoh thought happily. 

After dumping his bag to one corner, Rukawa went immediately to the small kitchen after telling Sendoh to "make himself comfortable" or something like that. 

And so did the older man. He roamed his eyes and checked everything he could check, like the awards and trophies displayed, the CD's organized in the rack, the books collected in the cabinet – they were mostly novels. There was quite a collection of Air Jordan and Nike's. And the only pictures in the place were the Tomigaoka Team when Rukawa was still the captain and the Shohoku Team when Akagi, Mitsui and Kogure were still there. 

His eyes returned to the CD's and he studied some. Most of them were rock and slow metal. Sendoh smiled. Just looking at Rukawa, he could already conclude that he was not into pop or ballad. He might seem a loner and a calm one but he still reflected the aura of an untamed and wild fox. 

Sendoh's grin widened. Perhaps Sakuragi was right of calling Rukawa "kitsune"…

Sakuragi… 

He was glad that the redhead was not thinking of fighting him for Rukawa. But then… maybe he was still uncertain of his feelings. It was obvious when they talked after their one-on-one.

"Here," Rukawa's voice brought him out of his reverie.

He looked up and smiled and uttered a cheerful "thanks!" Then he looked at the foods served before him – Iced tea and cake. Hm. But wait, he had never seen this cake sold in any bakeshop here in Kanagawa…

"You made this?" Sendoh could not help but ask.

"Would that matter?" Rukawa asked in return. He sat next to Sendoh on the couch and reached for the remote control of the T.V. and opened it.

"Yeah. So answer me okay? Did you make this?" 

Sendoh could hear Rukawa grunted for a moment before he nodded. 

_So, Kaede-kun knows how to bake. Impressive…_ "Really, Kaede-kun? Will you teach me how sometime?" he begged together with his puppy dog eyes. _This used to work against Kosh…_ he mentally reminded himself.

"Hn."

"Oh, come on Kaede-kunnnn!!!" he pleaded.

Rukawa sighed and rolled his eyes. This scene was like a déjà vu already. But… just not let Sendoh do what he did before…

"Okay, okay. Now shut up I'm watching," Rukawa answered irritated. Sendoh beamed and began eating the cake. 

It sure tasted good. Very good. 

Sendoh concentrated on eating and Rukawa on watching. But their minds were adrift. 

Maybe this was the right moment. Should he tell Rukawa what he feels for him? Maybe. Maybe now before Sakuragi could make up his own emotions and finally confess. 

He watched the younger boy carefully. He was very beautiful in a manly way. Yet, beautiful enough to turn a man on. His eyes seemed so cold at times but when they began to show emotion, one could almost drown in them. 

He watched Rukawa parted his lips to sip his drinks. He watched how the pink tongue wipe the wetness of juice on his lips. He had watched them before and it still had the same effect. Could he really kiss him now? Could he? Would it be wrong? 

Sendoh slowly placed his glass to the table. 

"Kaede…" he called suddenly serious. Rukawa was not used to this so he glanced at the taller man and looked at him questioningly. "Kaede… It might seem strange for you… but…" Sendoh tried to continue but he was quickly lost for word. He just stared pleadingly at Rukawa hoping that his eyes could declare what he wanted to say. 

Those deep blue eyes… 

"You are so beautiful Kaede…" he spoke suddenly unaware that he had just. Sendoh reached for Rukawa's face, stroking it gently. Rukawa was left frozen in his place. 

"You are so beautiful…" Sendoh repeated before leaning over the raven boy and kissed him. He meant it to be a short and chaste one. But as soon as his lips touched Rukawa's, he just felt the desire to do… more… 

Rukawa was taken aback. He had never expected this. And not with another man. Not with Sendoh. But Sendoh was kissing him and he could not do anything. His body seemed to have gone paralyzed. Or maybe… or just maybe because Sendoh was a good kisser and Rukawa could almost feel like responding. And respond he did. He just realized it though when they were already lying on the couch, Sendoh on top of him, kissing him in a way he never imagined. He was beginning to lose air. He clutched to Sendoh's collar and tried to push the other boy. 

Sendoh realized that the younger boy was having a difficulty in breathing so he stopped and pulled himself up. Rukawa looked so seductive than ever with his hair tousled, cheeks flushing and lips wet that he could not help but quickly lean again for another kiss, hotter and more passionate this time. Rukawa's inexperience heightened his desire even more.

He made his way down and was now kissing Rukawa's neck, biting it slightly and sucking the smooth, soft flesh. Rukawa writhe underneath him and even released a silent groan.

Rukawa knew that it was not right yet it felt wonderful. But still, it was not right. Especially with someone of the same gender. He tried to push Sendoh but failed. He could feel Sendoh's lips descending more from his neck trailing its path to the junction of Rukawa's neck and shoulder. Rukawa knew he would lose control if this moment goes on. He pushed Sendoh harder this time and succeeded. They were now staring at one another blushing furiously in realization to what just happened. 

However, Rukawa quickly regained composure. He looked at a different direction and discreetly supported himself up – it was difficult though having Sendoh still on top of him.

"I think you should leave now," Rukawa advised coolly. 

After a short moment, Sendoh nodded. "Yeah. I guess so…" then he stood up, freeing Rukawa at last, and subtly fixed the polo shirt he was wearing. 

None of them tried to look at each other straight in the eye. After bidding a silent farewell, Sendoh left. 

Rukawa slumped to the couch rubbing his forehead thinking "what had he done".

To be continued…

Miku: ^^; I'm not good with lime so pardon minna. The lime scene was needed really. Really! I did not just add that to have a lime scene! It had it's purpose! +_+

Sendoh: You don't have to explain it, miku-chan. The readers understand it, I'm sure.

Sakuragi: You're just happy because you were able to kiss Kaede in that part!

Miku: *eyes narrowed slyly* jealous, Hana-kun…???

Sakuragi: OF COURSE NOT! Why would the Tensai get jealous especially to that spiky smiley baka!?!?

Miku: Then I guess I'll be making a lemon next time, ne, Sendoh-san? What'dya think of it??

Sendoh: *grins mischievously* That's the soundest thing I've ever heard from you.

Sakuragi: OI!!!!!!! 


	14. A Best Friend's Advice

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Another note minna! I've changed some errors and added some lines in Part 13! ^^;; gomen ne… Maybe next time I should check before I publish, ne? I'm just really excited to impart the scenes to you! ^^;; 

Sendoh: So, are you really making a lemon, Miku-chan?? *blink blink*

Miku: Ahh… Sendoh-san… I'll think about it… ^^;;

Actually, I was really, really, really, REALLY guilty of writing the "lime" (if that's already lime to you) part. Ehehe… I'm not used to. But anyway, as I've told you, it's REALLY needed for the story to go on. ^^;;

But I don't think I can write a lemon… oh well… who knows… what do you say minna??? I'm having one lemon part in my mind, and yes, it's still needed in the story. But I'm trying hard to avoid it. What do you say??? 

Part Fourteen

A Best Friend's Advice

WHAT HAD HE DONE!? 

Was he stupid or what!? He kissed Kaede and almost went beyond it! Why did he not think about everything first. Maybe because he was a coward to be defeated by Sakuragi? Or was he really a spiky-head hentai?

No. He really did not plan of kissing the younger boy. It's just that seeing those deep blue eyes and the beautiful face made the atmosphere heavy and he just felt the urge to… well… kiss him. 

It was obvious that it was Kaede's first kiss and that made Sendoh somehow glad. _He_ was Kaede's first kiss. Shallow it might seem and too 'girly', he was still happy. Kaede's lips tasted naturally sweet unlike the lipstick coated pout of his previous girlfriends (or if he could call them that). Actually, everything in the past were just 'flings' and those girls knew it. They were just so willing to be Sendoh's even just for a short time. And it was difficult for a man to avoid temptation, right? 

But Kaede was different. He was a challenge. He was innocent. He was a whole new change from all the girls Sendoh had before. Of course how could he not be? He was a man for pete's sake! But then, seeing the beautiful face made Sendoh forgot anything about gender. Every time he's with Kaede, they're just Sendoh and Kaede, no more.

But what now?

Would Kaede hate him now? He told him to leave, right? His voice might have been calm but yet… that's just so Kaede. 

Did that mean that the raven boy did not care? 

That would hurt a lot. But maybe it would be better than be avoided. He could not live if Kaede would not talk to him and see him. 

He's getting so unlike him.

The Sendoh that people knew was the Sendoh who would care less about heartache. More so, he was the one who _never_ knew what heartache was. Or so they thought. 

He knew heartache and rejection and had experienced it many times yet he did not show it. 

And that was the Sendoh people knew – the Sendoh with the mask and not the real one.

When could he be himself? 

_Kaede…_ Sendoh uttered silently in the night hoping that the young boy's image would soothe him.

He stirred from the bed and opened his eyes. His room was well lit now but he could not remember of turning them on since… what… about three days or so?

He heard noise from the other side of the room and quickly recognized his best friend. Yohei was cleaning up the mess he had done. The bottles of beer were already gone. He smiled wistfully.

_I thought you were him…_ Sakuragi, not knowing, thought it out loud. 

"Of course Rukawa was here before Hanamichi," Yohei answered, smiling at his friend whose eyes just widened upon hearing him.

_He came? He was here? I was not dreaming?_

"Yes, you were not dreaming, Hanamichi," Yohei said as if reading his friend's mind.

The redhead tried to get up. Sitting on the bed now, he massaged his throbbing head.

"I never thought of it really," Yohei started telling. "I never thought that _he_ would come to you. I never thought that _he_ would be the one to comfort you…"

"Yohei…"

"You love him, don't you, Hanamichi?" his best friend suddenly asked but still serious. Sakuragi was caught unguarded and he actually stammered on what to say.

"I- I don't Yohei! He's just… he's just a friend and…" Sakuragi tried defending.

"Liar. You already confessed it a while ago, baka!" Yohei teased and continued cleaning the beer spills.

"I- I did _what_?!" the redhead suddenly exclaimed unbelievingly. 

"You already admitted it a while ago, Hanamichi, though indirectly. But you're point was very clear."

"With whom did I admit _that_?!" He demanded for an answer unaware now that he was furiously blushing and that his voice was very loud.

"With him. And I heard that," his friend answered calmly. Yohei halted from what he was doing and walked towards his friend who was still looking at him flustered, embarrassed, surprised… so many emotions. Yohei could not help but pity his friend yet at the same time smile… smile because he did not expect this reaction from his best friend. He was expecting for Sakuragi to yell at him and punch him, kick him and headbump him… but… his reaction was totally… different.

His friend changed a lot.

"Do you love him, Hanamichi?" his friend asked again, this time without the smile. 

"I- I don't… I like Haruko and…" 

Yohei smacked his forehead lightly as if in exasperation…? "You like Haruko. Yes. I know that. You like her as _what_?"

Sakuragi was silent. He never expected this question nor had questioned himself this before. "I… I wanted her to be my girlfriend…"

"Wanted… do you still want her to be your girlfriend now?"

It took another long time before he could answer, "Yes. I guess…" 

Yohei smiled and held Sakuragi's shoulders. "Then tell me, do you love her?"

_Love her_… Of course he like Haruko! He should not doubt about it! _Like her… love her…_ He was getting confused again. He thought he already sorted out his feelings with… Rukawa… a while ago… but then… 

Had he really sorted out his feelings? 

Had he really admitted something he should've not?

"Yohei… tell me… what do you think…"

"Hanamichi, I cannot tell you what you are feeling. It's your heart we're talking about here and not mine. All I can do is help you to think. But if you'll ask me… all I can say is that you've changed a lot… after being closed with Rukawa…"

_Did I? Did I really change? So it's not good… perhaps… because I changed…_

"Look here Hanamichi. I'll tell you one thing. Love makes you foolish but not literally like you have to look the most idiot creature there is. No matter how comfortable you would be to someone you love, it would still change you. You don't love someone because of what you see and what you _think_…"

"Yohei…" 

"I'm not dictating you of what your feeling is but you know what? You've matured… only now…"

"Yohei…" Sakuragi could not say anything but only his friend's name. He was actually digesting what Yohei was telling him and it was so unusual of him. Before, he would just close his ear and stuck to what he believed… but now… he needed all help and advise he could get.

Yohei stood up and tapped Sakuragi's shoulder before he turned his back on him and went towards the door. "I guess I'll be leaving now, Hanamichi. Kaasan would be… worried. He might think I am out fighting… you know…" he spoke followed by a tense chuckle. 

"Aa…" Sakuragi's eyes were darted outside the window but was seeing nothing… Yohei noticed it and smiled sympathetically at his friend. 

"I'm going," Yohei announced once more. Sakuragi only nodded in response. "And Hanamichi," he called before he went out of the door, "Love doesn't need to be loud…" he advised once more before closing the door. Sakuragi was now staring blankly at the closed door. 

TO be continued…

Miku: How's that minna? Yohei was so kind, ne? 

Sendoh: How come Sakuragi received an advice from a friend and I am all alone thinking??

Sakuragi: BECAUSE I AM LOVED BY MANY! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Miku and Sendoh sweatdropped

Sendoh: Nah-nah-nah… Because I am not as dumb as you to need another's point of view to sort my feelings! That's it! Yeah!!

Sakuragi: YOU!! YOU SPIKY-HEAD IDIOT-SMILEY HENTAI!!!

Miku: *sweatdropped* well minna… again… what do you say about lemon??? Ehehehehehe…

Sendoh: YAIY!!! You're so kind Miku-chaaaaannn!!!!!

Sakuragi: *glares*

Miku: Who said it's going to be for you, Sendoh-san??? *wink wink*

Sendoh: Miku-chaaaannn!!!!

Sakuragi: NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Miku: And why are you so happy, Hana-kun??? It won't be for you too… *wink wink*

LAST NOTE: There may be errors here again and… hehe… I'm lazy at editing… just… understand the story minna… ehehehehe… ^^;;

… Where's Rukawa anway??? …

Sendoh: *sneaked* Too dumbfounded from my kiss… ^_~ *received headbump from Sakuragi*


	15. What Am I

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

WAAAA!!!! Thank for the reviews! You're making me cry!!! ^^;

Oh well… the paring again… ehehehe… SenRu or HanaRu… let's see until the very end! ^^;;

Part Fifteen

What Am I

Sakuragi was still absent and the team was getting worried already. It had been four days. The gym was getting boring and cheerless… there's no redhead monkey to declare his being tensai.

Rukawa was playing his worst. He had missed the ball passed on him and Ryota managed to steal from him every now and then. He had not scored anything today and that made the team worried more. 

No one knew what was happening, of course, except for Yohei who was watching the team practice alone without his gang in tow. Haruko was there too, of course, and Ichiro; their face showed very concerned expression. 

Rukawa liked to bang his head to the wall knowing that he had been out of himself lately. _SO_ out of himself. Who would not be anyway after finding out that Sakuragi was falling for him and Sendoh just kissed him… 

_Damn!_ He mentally cursed.

He was not like this before. He never cared for anything before… just basketball and basketball alone… But now…

_Damn! Damn! Damn!_

Ayako whistled for a break. Ryota was not the cheerful one anymore. The problem was getting too much for him. It's hard to talk to Rukawa and get an honest response. Another, Sakuragi was still not around and he knew nothing of what's going on with him. Being the team captain now was sure a load of difficulties. 

"Rukawa-sempai," Ichiro called. He went to Rukawa who was sitting at the bench, eyes emptier than the usual (if that was possible). "Rukawa-sempai, what's wrong?"

Ichiro was expecting a snort or a shrug or a mind-your-own-business-like response. Instead, Rukawa shook his head; eyes narrowed slightly, kind of sad, and uttered a silent and soft "nothing" not with his usual cold and firm tone. 

"Are there any problems?" he decided to find out; after all, Rukawa seemed kinder today. 

Rukawa just shook his head again. _What could you say if I tell you that I'm currently problematic of two men who just… shit…_!

"Rukawa-sempai…"

"It's nothing, Ichiro," he answered firmly, stopping any conversation anymore.

"Aa…" the younger boy agreed softly, nodded, and returned to Ayako who was watching the two of them the whole time.

Yohei was watching Rukawa too thinking if Sakuragi's confession was the one bugging him right now. 

He dropped his duffel bag at the only bench there and pulled out his basketball. He was in the covered court where he usual spent his afternoon with Sendoh and had their one-on-ones. 

But today, as he expected, the spiky-head ace of Ryonan was not there. Usually, Sendoh was the one waiting for him. But what should he expect anyway? After what happened?

It's a shame though… to lose the only challenging opponent he had… because of one stupid kiss.

_Shit…_

He dribbled the ball and shoot. Perfect three-point. 

If only he could just forget what happened and be the usual Rukawa Kaede knew, especially during practice, then he would not have to face his teammates worried expressions. He would not have to answer them every time they would ask "what's your problem", "is anything bothering you", what's wrong", "you're not yourself today"… and so on…

He got the ball and dribbled it harsher this time. 

Why of all people should he experience this? He's a guy for pete's sake! How could a guy, rather, two guys fall for him?! 

_Damn!_ He cursed inwardly and aimed for another shot.

…. And most all you might hate me for it but it just kept hurting me. It just kept hurting me every time I would try to deny it and see you with that bastard Sendoh.

Sakuragi…

Air ball.

But he did not hear the ball drop to the floor and bounce. Instead, he heard a hand caught it easily. He looked below the ring and saw a slightly smiling spiky-head boy. 

Sendoh…

"You're earlier than me…" Sendoh uttered calmly and dribbled the ball once. "First to get ten points?" 

Rukawa did not expect him to be here. Yet he was here and challenging him for another one-on-one. Like nothing happened… like nothing changed… and Rukawa secretly appreciated it.

Then they started the game and it was, as always, what would be expected from the two aces of rival teams. 

… Skip game details… heheheheh…. …

They were lying on the court exhausted, Sendoh was still smiling like always and Rukawa still wore the same blank expression he had except that he was more peaceful this time.

The sun was already setting and it created a very wonderful view with the sky glowing orange and the cloud linings turning gold.

If only things could stay this way always… the two thought.

"I thought you're not coming today…" Rukawa suddenly admitted. He felt the need to talk things out… to end all of this… yet words were hard to find.

"I thought I'm not coming too," Sendoh replied, "But then I realized one thing… I don't want to be a coward, Kaede…"

Rukawa knew deep inside what Sendoh was talking about but he tried to remain oblivious. 

"It's such a shame to lose one worthy opponent just because…" Rukawa did not like to continue. He did not want to remember what happened… but he needed to… or else he would not be able to clear things…

"Just that, Kaede?" 

Rukawa did not respond. He did not know what Sendoh was referring to.

"You just don't want to lose a challenging one-on-one partner, that's all?" Sendoh asked a bit wistful.

"Akira…"

Sendoh stood up and dusted dirt from his sweaty shirt and pants. Rukawa stood up as well, slower though.

"I promise you won't then," Sendoh continued, his eyes were glistening with unshed tear. Rukawa suddenly hated himself. "I'm always here…"

"Akira…" how much Rukawa wanted to tell Sendoh that it was not "just" that. He did not want to lose Sendoh. He did not want to lose the closeness they managed to share. He did not want to lose anything just because of their stupidity.

"But… but is that all you think of me, Kaede? An opponent? A challenger and nothing more?" Sendoh continued asking, his voice trembled a little. Rukawa hated himself more. 

Sendoh was his friend already, not just an opponent and a challenger. He meant more to him. Yet he could not tell the older boy that. He did not know how and that's his problem – showing and saying what he really wanted. He's always cold… 

How much he wanted to pull Sendoh and embrace him to comfort him like the way he comforted Sakuragi. But he could not. He could not find the strength to. And here was Sendoh in front of him, looking as sad as ever, and yet he could not do anything. Stupid image of his…

"Then I should be glad you treat me as someone…" then Sendoh turned his back to him and picked his duffel bag, hung it to his right shoulder, and turned his head to see Rukawa once more. "Ja now, na, Kaede?" he bid and walked his way out. 

Rukawa wanted to call him and say everything he wanted to say. Yet he just stood in the middle of the court, frozen. 

Why could he not show that he cared? Especially to someone like Sendoh who had been so good to him… 

Sendoh told him that they would still play, right? But it seemed not right. It seemed so sad… 

And Sendoh's eyes… they were glistening with unshed tear… his smiles were all sad… it seemed like he would fall and break out any time. And yet… Rukawa could not do anything… He himself wanted to cry. Everything seemed so sad but he did not know why. Maybe next time he would see Sendoh, he'll try his best to show his concern… maybe… just maybe…

He covered his face with one palm, shoulders shaking slightly… Rain began to fall…

To be continued…

Miku: YAIY! I never meant this chapter to be sad… yet… Sendoh should be sad… tsk tsk tsk… don't worry… everybody would be… umm… happy… in the end…?

Oh, and Sendoh's not mad… he's just… lonely in this part… *sigh*


	16. Realizations

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Konnichi wa… a… er… konban wa???? Whatever! Hello minna! Sorry for errors ^^;; again, but… I have no time of checking and editing them… maybe sometime when I'm free… hectic school sched, I say… but of course, I wanted to finish this fic as soon as possible. I _know_ how hard it is to wait for chapters! +_+

Oh well… the _rain began to fall_… lol

Well, it fell, yes… but it was a nice weather at the start, ne?? But it really did rain. ^^;; 

Now, now… I'm not good with angst but I like reading them… but who knows… I might learn to write one. ^___^

This is quite a longer chapter… ^_^

Oh! And the pairing of this story would not depend on the vote. ^^;; yes. I hate to say that though. It would depend to the story flow. Anyway, Rukawa had not yet decided. Moreover… he had not yet thought about… _love_… here… am I right??? Ehehe… that means the next chapter would be… might be… Rukawa falling for… who?

AHHHHH!!! That means more chapter to go?!?!?! WAAAAAA!!!!!

Are you getting bored minna? Do you want me to stop already? ^^;;

Or end this all quickly??? Here: If I end this quickly then… the ending would be… not what you expected…. If I continue for more chapters then… maybe… ehehehehehe… ^^;;;

Hope you won't get mad at me. ^^;;;;

Part Sixteen

Realizations

He managed to reach his apartment just in time before the rain poured stronger. He was dripping wet still yet he just slumped himself to his bed without even removing his shoes. 

He was hurt.

He was hurt seeing Sendoh hurt. He was hurt seeing Sakuragi hurt. Those two people who were so special to him had been suffering just because of _him_. Maybe the idea of being close to anyone was not really good, especially for someone like him – someone who could not even utter the word "hi", what more a "thank you" and "how are you"?

He had not realized it that Sendoh and Sakuragi had already been closed to him. Closer than what should be. He was… contented… at first, knowing, finally, he managed to set his past aside and start a new life with basketball and his team. Then with Sendoh… the person he once wanted to defeat. Well… he had not yet defeated him anyway but whenever they had their one-on-one, as if they were already equal. And Rukawa was satisfied. Sendoh did not treat him as an opponent even at the start. And he hurt him. He caused sadness to those always-vibrant eyes and smiling face. 

And Sakuragi… 

Perhaps it was better if they just stayed contender of one another. In that case, he would have not cared for him. In that case, Sakuragi would not have been so confused with his feelings. Sakuragi would have been happy loving Haruko. 

However, he did not want to lose his closeness with these two. He did not want to lose the people who became so special to him in a short span of time. But why? Was it his fault that their lives became complicated? So complicated?

"I don't know. I think I'm falling for you yet I could not accept it. I kept on denying it. I'm not sure. It's wrong I know. People might hate me for it. And most all you might hate me for it but it just kept hurting me. It just kept hurting me every time I would try to deny it and see you with that bastard Sendoh. I don't know… I'm just… I'm really… I'm really confused…"

"Just that, Kaede? You just don't want to lose a challenging one-on-one partner, that's all?"

"I promise you won't then, I'm always here…"

"But… but is that all you think of me, Kaede? An opponent? A challenger and nothing more?" 

"Then I should be glad you treat me as someone…"

What he wanted was friendship. He was not hoping for something more. Perhaps because he was not worthy of love… but he knew he was worthy, at least, of care. But if that meant of hurting the people who cared for him then maybe he should just let it go…

America…

Maybe he should go there now… Maybe it would be the best decision he would come up with. Maybe… just maybe… 

But would it not make him a coward?

Yes.

Then maybe he should fix all the problems before he go. Yes. Sendoh and Sakuragi deserved to be happy than him. They were not worthy of heartaches. 

Rukawa closed his eyes, a tear slowly gliding unto his smooth pale face illuminated by the moon. 

"I never thought that he would come to you. I never thought that he would be the one to comfort you…"

During those times, he really felt alone but he did not want to seek for help. His problem was, after all, a man. What would his friends think of him then? That he's gay? But he's not. He liked Haruko. He liked Haruko very much.

_"You like Haruko. Yes. I know that. You like her as what?"_

What Yohei asked him made him think. A girlfriend of course. But then, he had never thought about that actually. Whenever he's with Haruko, he's happy. And every now and then he would think of how to defeat Rukawa and gain Haruko's attention. But he had never thought of actually making her his girlfriend nor had he thought of how would he confess his feelings to her.

"… Do you still want her to be your girlfriend now?"

Haruko was really a nice girl. She's pretty and kind. He knew that many guy liked her too. It was queer though that Rukawa had not yet noticed her admiration of him. Or maybe he had noticed but took no heed. Baka kitsune! Did he not think that he was so lucky to have Haruko admiring him? 

"Then tell me, do you love her?"

Love her… love her… Does he love her? Of course… but… 

_"… You've changed a lot… after being closed with Rukawa…"_

Perhaps he changed a lot really. He had lessened his mockery with the raven boy. He had somehow lessened his selfishness of having the limelight on him. 

But what changed in him really was that he had been thinking a lot lately. He had been contemplating on what to do unlike before… 

And that was what he was doing right now…

_"… Love makes you foolish but not literally like you have to look the most idiot creature there is. No matter how comfortable you would be to someone you love, it would still change you. You don't love someone because of what you see and what you think…"_

Love makes you foolish. Yes perhaps because he was here measuring his feelings for two certain people, one a girl, and the other a _man_. And yes, that certainly made him foolish. 

He had been comfortable with Haruko although he blushed a lot. Who would not be anyway? Being close to someone you like and all… 

But he was still the Hanamichi everybody knew. Whenever he's playing and Haruko would shout at him, encouraging him, he would liven up. But that was just him. That would never change in him. It was his typical reaction with all the girls he had admired before. 

And he knew he liked Haruko the first time he saw her. Haruko was pretty and that was one thing he admired of the girl. She was sweet and kind. She was everything a man could ask for. And she was the one who brought him to the world of basketball… where… he met him. 

Rukawa Kaede. Pretty _boy_ yet he did not know how to smile, did not know how to talk casually, even more, did not know how to be kind. And he hated him… before…

Yet seeing Rukawa's other side during those days that he had been _planning_ his _strategy_ do defeat both aces… he felt somewhat… captivated. Not because he was beautiful. Not because he was very contrary to the Rukawa he knew. He was just… captivated… with no reason at all. Or maybe there was a reason he did not yet realized now.

And that made him recall all his memories of him and Rukawa… during those times that he _hated_ him. 

Rukawa kicked him whenever he was playing badly – on his first official game and many other incident. He even told him once that if he did not want for the team to win then don't play at all.

Rukawa was always calling him 'dumb', 'foolish' and everything that perfectly contradicted his being tensai. Rukawa always showed off… he always made the most fantastic shot, moves and all… and that's what made Sakuragi strive harder. 

But to think about it, it was actually Rukawa who had been morally uplifting his spirit in his distinct Rukawa-way. Rukawa was the one who would wake him up during the times he felt like he was… foolish and erroneous. 

He could vividly recall how Rukawa managed to get him back to himself after they lost to Kainan. Rukawa even told him that it was _his_ (Rukawa's fault) and not him and they beat up each other the whole night.

Haruko tried to cheer him up too! Telling him that a tensai makes mistakes too…

Yet…

Rukawa was the one who really pulled him out of his desperation…

Haruko was always cheering for him… that's true. But when in times that he felt like he was useless, he would not hear of Haruko's encouragement anymore although she was still trying. Only after a kick or two from Rukawa would snapped him back to his usual self.

And only now did he appreciated it…

He remembered the time when he was still learning lay-up. Akagi asked Rukawa to teach him how and the boy agreed somehow. But Sakuragi just threw at him a ball _many_ times. That made Akagi mad. And Rukawa somehow too. So he was forced to apologize and he made quite a good act there. Rukawa quickly forgave him and was already going to teach him when he poured at him _all_ the basketball in the casing.

He had been very selfish. He had to admit that. Rukawa had been kind to him actually… and only now did he realized it… how foolish of him…

"Love doesn't need to be loud…"

What did Yohei mean by 'loud' anyway? He did not need to shout it? Or proclaim it to the world? Of course not! It's the best way of proving your love. It's the best way of admitting it. It's the best way of telling the person you love that you are being true. 

But was that what Yohei meant?

Or…

That love was something one seldom recognize because he think that he was already feeling it…

Haruko…

Rukawa…

And now he decided. He would do something foolish tomorrow but that would answer all his questions. Tomorrow… tomorrow would be the realization day.

Sendoh was still awake. He was thinking if he had been right about telling Rukawa those words – those words full of loneliness… 

He was hurt. Yes, that's true. But it was not Rukawa's fault. It was not Rukawa's fault that Sendoh fell in love for him. 

Rukawa was not to blame but him, Sendoh.

He had realized what he was feeling for the boy yet he did not do anything to prevent it. But why would he? That was the first time he really felt it true and would he let it go? 

But he just failed, right? He made something stupid just because he was so… captivated… but was it really a stupid thing to do? Was it stupid to show someone what you feel for him? 

However, he should have not been too fast. 

He was just scared. Scared that Sakuragi would take Rukawa away from him. He was hurt seeing the two together, knowing that Rukawa walked with him… He was hurt upon hearing Rukawa talking to Sakuragi something far from basketball… even a short "let's go"…

And Rukawa treated him nothing more than just a challenge.

And that's the most painful of all…

But maybe not… He did not give the younger boy the time to say anything. Maybe Rukawa was so stunned that he could not say anything. Yes. That's it. Why did he become shallow minded anyway? Because of jealousy?

Moreover…

He had not yet told Rukawa what he actually felt for him…

He had not yet told Rukawa the exact words…

Then he would. He should not expect to have his answer immediately anyway. Sendoh did not really want any answer. He just wanted to tell Rukawa the he loved him and that was enough. It would not matter if Rukawa would not love him back. Just don't let Rukawa avoid him or he would find no other reasons for living…

But then…

Would it not be good if Rukawa loved him back?

Of course it would be but for now… he should be contented. 

He had never been serious like this. He had never been so desperate like this. He had never loved anyone like the way he loved Rukawa. Why should he let this one go? Why should he give up? It would be his greatest regret if he chose to be a coward. 

He made his decision. It would be up to Rukawa if this decision would be good or bad. 

One thing he was certain though… that his decision was not wrong.

But who would suffer more in the end?

Him?

Sakuragi?

Or Rukawa?

To be continued…

Miku: ^^;; Sakuragi thinks more than the two, ne? It's just that, for me, there had been many things missed by him in reality even sans the shounen-ai theme… and that was Rukawa's actual kindness to him although it seemed… not… Oh well… what can you say?? I need your review! ^^;; 

I like reading reviews… they make me want to continue more…

Oh well… no flames for now please… just wait for the story to end… As what I've told you before… ^^;; it's not a very good encouragement… oh well… thanks anyway for reading! Let's wait for the next chapter!! 

^_^

Oh lastly… is the story… ummm…. Getting boring???


	17. I Want To Shout I Love You

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Thanks for the review! ^_^

Well… Akira… sorry for making Sendoh so sad… but I have to… ^^;; I like him so much that's why… (ehehehe)

Oh… and as long as I could avoid it… I don't want this to have a tragic ending to. ^^;; I guess I made so many people expect and I don't want them to… uh… feel bad. But it could not be help I know…. ^^;; so I guess I have to make every character… contented???

Anyway, just enjoy reading. And sorry for the very slow story transition. ^^;; And… I think it would be long before I continue… but it won't take me weeks I guess… just days… you know… school… . 

Thanks again!!

Part Seventeen

Kimi Ga Suki Da To (I want to shout I love you)

Rukawa woke up from a bad sleep, or rather, he did not sleep at all. He had been thinking a lot of things last night – a lot more than the usual. At least he could sleep in his class…

Classes were ordinary. He had not even felt it start and end… he was sleeping almost the whole day anyway. When he woke up, there were many love letters that were addressed to him. He did not even bother to pick any of it, even just to see the sender. He left them in his desk and went to the gym. 

How cold of him…

Why could he not be kind to those who admired him?

_But they're annoying…_

And he had other things in mind… 

Like basketball…

And…

Sendoh… Sakuragi…

He did not have to bother about Sendoh today, anyway. He could deal with him later perhaps. But Sakuragi… he would see him at today's practice… or maybe not…. He had been absent for four days anyway. Rukawa sighed upon remembering the event last night. 

What could he do to patch things up?

He came just on time. Almost everybody was already there… everybody except Sakuragi. He saw Haruko peeked expectantly and Rukawa perfectly knew who was she looking for and that person was not around. Upon learning that Sakuragi was not around, she sadly left the gym.

He entered the locker room and got changed.

"What's with Sakuragi now?" Miyagi could not help but ask not anyone in particular. Ayako just sighed sadly. Anzai-sensei was not with them for now because he had to rest. And without their coach, problems like this were hard to solve. If only Akagi was still the captain… he somehow managed to get the team together. 

"He did not choose to stop playing, right?" Ichiro uttered silently hoping that he would hear the others agree. "He was getting better already… and… it could be shame to…"

"Ichiro, of course not! Sakuragi would not do that!" Ayako consoled the boy. Ichiro slightly smiled and nodded in response. 

"Of course! The Tensai would never do that!" a boisterous voice shouted from the gym door. Everybody looked at his direction knowing exactly to whom the voice belonged to.

"SAKURAGI!!!" Almost everybody shouted and ran to him… almost everybody except Rukawa.

"BAKA! What happened to you!?" Miyagi questioned. The new captain was punching him lightly.

"You scared us, Sakuragi-san," Ichiro added.

Sakuragi gave off his trademark laugh. "NYAHAHAHAHAHA! Of course! The team surely does not want to lose such great player!!" followed another laugh. Everybody sweatdropped, even Rukawa who was dribbling the ball to continue his practice.

"And…" the redhead suddenly said, his voice was serious. Everybody stared at him, puzzled.

Sakuragi's eyes which sparkling with unknown emotions, were only staring to one person in front of him. Everybody followed his gaze knowing exactly to whom the redhead's eyes were fixed upon. 

"And I just made some thinking and come up with a decision…" Sakuragi continued slowly making his way to Rukawa who was still dribbling the basketball although a little trembling now.

Everyone watched the two of them. They were thinking that perhaps the two had a fight and Sakuragi was now planning to get even with the raven boy. 

"And I'm willing to gamble with it… Kaede…" 

Silence.

The way Sakuragi said Rukawa's name surely proved that he was not into fighting today. His voice was dead serious yet firm. He knew exactly what he was going to say not like the usual speak-whatever-comes-into-your-mind attitude.

Rukawa froze and dropped the ball. Sakuragi just kept on walking towards him.

"I don't care anymore…" 

Sakuragi held Rukawa's wrist firmly yet gently, and pulled the boy and turned him around so they were facing each other.

The other Shohoku members served as witnesses to this extraordinary moment.

"I'm certain of this now…"

He knew he was not certain about it but… but he just wanted to try it out. If he quickly regretted what he would profess then he would know it was not meant to be. He could just laugh it off and quickly tell everyone that he was just joking. 

But would that hurt Rukawa? Would that offend him?

He suddenly doubted the idea… Would he regret this confession afterwards like the way he regretted his _act_? 

However, he just felt like wanting to continue… it would be now… 

"I…"

Could he? In front of these people? What would their reactions be? Would they laugh at him? But more importantly, would Rukawa ignore him? Or reject him? Would he hate him or what?

"I…"

"Rukawa-kun! Someone's looking for you!" one student shouted from outside the gym. A figure of a tall, well-built man blocked the light from outside the door. 

_Sendoh…_

Sendoh was a little stunned upon seeing Sakuragi standing so closely to Rukawa and holding his wrist possessively. He wanted to back out now yet… yet… he did not want to… he did not want to be a coward and just let Sakuragi win Rukawa. So what if Rukawa choose Sakuragi from him? At least, he had been honest, right?

_Right…_

Sendoh stepped inside, still smiling like always, his eyes were fixed only to one person. 

"Kaede…"

Rukawa's gaze turned to him. Sendoh could see so many emotions with those deep blue eyes. Confused… expectant… puzzled… unbelieving…. Rukawa stepped to him gently releasing his wrist from Sakuragi's grasp. 

"Kaede, I don't care about anything else right now…" Sendoh stepped a little more to reach Rukawa. He laid both hands to Rukawa's shoulders and faced the younger boy straight in the eyes. "I love you…" he whispered.

_Whew!_ Did he just say it at last? 

He noticed Rukawa's eyes widened a little but not like a reaction of someone who was not expecting such confession. After all, he did kiss him even before, right?

"I love you, Kaede…" Sendoh repeated, this time with a louder voice. "And I'm willing to shout it out loud…" Sendoh's eyes narrowed slightly smiling. He felt more relieved. He smoothly turned while declaring, "I LOVE YOU KAEDE!! Do you hear that everybody? I LOVE RUKAWA KAEDE!!" he shouted on top of his lungs, smile was still visible.

Everybody stared in amazement.

Rukawa was frozen from his place.

Sakuragi was shaken.

Then Sendoh turned to face Rukawa again and pulled the shocked boy into a warm embrace. "I love you Kaede… I've never been serious in my whole life. I've never felt this way to anyone than you. I don't care if you don't love me back just… just…" tears began forming in Sendoh's closed eyes and as hard as he tried to prevent them from falling, they smoothly glided down his cheeks. "Just… just don't stop me from loving you…"

To be continued…

Miku: Sakuragi was too slow ne? And "Kimi Ga Suki Da To" really suited him! ^^;; but he's really slow, ne??? It's too obvious in the series… tsk tsk… ^^;; pardon me hanaru fans! ^^;;

Well, no one here. Sakuragi, Rukawa and Sendoh were all… err… shocked to what I did to them. Anyway, thanks for reading minna! I hope I could write the next chapters soon! I already want to finish this… ^____^ 

OH! For senru fans, SD just finished here in my country… ^_^ and the last episode was… so… ah… ^_^ heartwarming. Ehehehe. Sendoh had been looking at Rukawa too many times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

*fell down and died*


	18. And Whisper A Promise

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

I know it's unfair for Hana… but that's the way the story went… ^^;; actually… I don't know how to continue anymore… ehehehe…. The characters were totally acting against my will… yeah that's true… honestly. The story was completely out of my control and it's not going to the plot I made before… ehehehe… could that be possible? Yes. It's happening. All I did was to flow with the character and just let their attitude carry the story. Now I'm already doubting if I should call this _my_ story.

Anyway, I'm not planning of hurting anyone. However, if the story demands for it, it would only be one person… ^^; it's up to you to guess who. 

Sakuragi was really slow, not only in my story but also in the series too. Sendoh was a little OOC, I guess?? And Rukawa… well… I don't know…

Anyway, Sakuragi needed to be hurt like Sendoh too… everybody's experiencing that anyway. And Rukawa's suffering too, you know. But then, it was just the way it should be. However, the ending would not be too painful, I promise… or rather… I'll try. 

Now… the problem is how to continue… but all I have to do is write my opening line again and let Rukawa, Sendoh and Sakuragi do the rest. 

Part Eighteen

And Whisper A Promise

The practice ended earlier. After all, everybody seemed to have been shocked still. It's not everyday to hear a man shout to the world that he loves another _man_. Moreover, it was Sendoh Akira who did that and of all people, to _him_, Rukawa Kaede.

He did not play well again and it was getting a habit already and it's bad. 

He was the last person to leave the locker room. Sakuragi did not wait for him too. Although he was quite thankful of that – he did not know how to confront the other anyway, he felt somewhat sorry. He was enjoying the company of Sakuragi already and it was sad to lose such wonderful person just because he, Rukawa, could not show his real side and that he could not make up his mind…

Make up his mind for what?

He sighed and zipped his bag quite rashly, hung it to his shoulder and left the room. 

Everything quickly changed within only a few weeks… yes… weeks… 

Akira…

He just confessed to him his feelings and in front of the other on top of that. He did not respond to him though, rather, he could not respond to him. He was really taken aback but he was not annoyed. He just could not believe he heard those words from Akira. But… they just kissed before, right?

_Damn!_

What if Akira just said those words because of what happened? Maybe he was playing with him. After all, that was Akira's game…

But then…

And what was Hanamichi supposed to tell him that afternoon? The redhead just left the practice after the incident even before Akira left. 

Akira was there watching him the whole time. If Ayako did not force him to leave…

_Sendoh Akira! It's not allowable for the captain of a rival team to be here in our practice! Leave now or else!_

_Ah… Ayako-san… but I'm not actually watching your team play. I'm just watching Kaede-kun!_

_…_

_HOW CAN WE BE SURE BAKA!?!_

_Here, look at my eyes… can't you see that they're already…_

_Stop it now, Sendoh! Just leave. If Anzai-sensei come here or even Akagi…_

_Ah! Okay! Okay! I'm going Ja ne!_

_Kaede-kun!! Bye-bye! I'll see you tomorrow, can I??_

Akira was so childlike. He was confident and honest. He was not afraid to tell the people what he wanted to tell them… except, maybe of course, for a few things that his carefree smiles hid.

Maybe Ayako noticed that he, Rukawa, could not concentrate that was why he sent Akira out… whatever… 

"Hey…" Rukawa heard the familiar voice of Hanamichi. He looked beside him and saw a slightly smiling redhead, hands on each pocket, shoulders slumped lightly.

"Hey…" Rukawa retorted.

"Can I walk with you?" 

Sakuragi need not to ask that anyway. They're always walking home together. But now, had he heard uncertainty in Sakuragi's tone?

"Do'aho…"

Sakuragi's smile widened and stood straight. He walked towards the raven boy and his smile faltered again, "I just thought that Sendoh… might be… walking you home…"

_Oh…_ After all, Hanamichi was there the time Sendoh shouted _that_. And perhaps it was the reason why he left??

"No."

They left the campus walking in companionable silence. Rukawa did not bring with him his bike. Actually, he was not bringing it anymore since Sakuragi started to walk him home and he did not regret it. 

He did not regret everything that transpired within those weeks… letting Sakuragi know him better and actually becoming close to him… Rukawa welcomed the changes gratefully… except for the part that Sakuragi somehow fell for him. 

Wait… 

What had Sakuragi decided anyway? What was he supposed to tell him?

He stared at the redhead beside him and stopped deciding to ask his question. Hanamichi stopped as well but he was not confused by Rukawa's action. It seemed more likely that he planned to stop as well. 

Hanamichi looked at the raven boy, smiling slightly.

"Tell me Kaede, do you like Sendoh?" The smile vanished as he waited for Rukawa's response.

Like Sendoh? Who would not like Sendoh? And the older boy was what Rukawa wished he were… but then, he could only admire him and wish… but to like Sendoh in another way – perhaps what Sakuragi meant…?

Rukawa could not know. 

"I can't understand you, Hanamichi…" was Rukawa's honest response.

Sakuragi sighed and looked at the setting sun vividly radiating its beauty in the surface of the sea. "He already told you about his feelings, right?" then he returned his stare to Rukawa. "Do you feel the same way for him?"

"Hana…"

Rukawa could not continue. He had not asked himself that question before. He had not thought about liking Sendoh more than he should. Sendoh was nice to him. He was a very likeable guy indeed, but a guy nonetheless, and it was difficult for Rukawa to fall for a girl, what more to man?

But Sendoh was incomparable to anyone and he fascinated Rukawa in many ways…

And Sakuragi too…

Yet, they were his friends and they were all guy for that matter.

"I- Hanamichi… we're both guys…" for the first time Rukawa stammered out loud.

"Oh…"

The Shohoku ace sighed and started to walk again. Sakuragi followed. 

"And you won't ever love a guy ever, Kaede?" the redhead asked, his eyes focusing on their way yet they were blank and deep.

"Love… I don't know how to define it so I guess I can't answer you…"

Sakuragi suddenly stopped surprised to what he just heard. He felt a bit of pity to Kaede and to him; Kaede – not knowing what is love, and he – loving someone who never knew what is loving.

The cool breeze from the sea gently blew.

Then Sakuragi smiled sadly remembering Yohei's words.

"Love makes you foolish but you don't have to look the most idiot creature there is.

"It changes you. 

"You don't love someone because of what you see and what you _think_… 

"Love doesn't need to be loud…

Rukawa halted from walking but chose not to face his friend.

"And most of all, it is never wrong…" Sakuragi continued, now walking towards Rukawa who turned slowly just in time so that the two of them were facing each other, eye-to-eye, and very close.

"And that was what I decided, Kaede…" Sakuragi lifted one hand to stroke Kaede's pale face. The raven boy was just staring at him with confused, expectant and amused eyes.

Sakuragi leaned and bowed his head more that their foreheads were already touching. He was gazing deeply at Rukawa's blue pools.

"…That I will love you no matter what…" the redhead finally said in a calm and soft whisper, with a firm and certain tone. He slowly and gently wrapped his arms around Rukawa's waist and hugged him affectionately while closing his eyes trying to relish the moment. Then he slowly kissed Rukawa's forehead, smelling the natural scent of the boy. 

The setting sun in the dark blue sea served witness of that moment.

To be continued….

Sorry that it took a long time for a new chapter to be uploaded. I'm _quite_ busy with schools and stuffs… well… the next chapter would be… well… I don't know actually. 

Anyway, thanks for reading and waiting for this part.

Thanks to those who reviewed my fic!

Well… it's hard to make a competition between Akira and Hana… they're both lovable… yet… ah… I dunno… that's what happened, I guess…

I hope this ends soon, ne???

Thank you again, minna!!!!


	19. Too Late For Realizations

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Part 18 sucks??? Hmm… not because the scene was HanaRu but because… I think… I did not write the part well… anyway, so there…

This fic is going to end soon. That means I already thought of the final pairing (if ever there is ^^;;) but of course, that's for you to find out.

Anyway, *sigh* I hope I could write better… 

Maybe I'll improve someday, ne?

Anyway, thanks for reading… 

!! **Lime Alert**… or was it only lime??? Ah… but it was not graphically mentioned. But the words… please… gomennasai…

Part 19

Too Late For Realizations

Hanamichi woke up with aching head and heavy body. Yet, the atmosphere was comfortable, too comfortable for him. Sleeping just beside him, _closely_ beside him, was no other than the person who he had learned to love. Tired and all, he still managed to smile as he watched Rukawa's sleeping form. 

The raven boy looked so peaceful and innocent. His head was lightly nudging at Hanamichi's neck, lips slightly parted and long-lashed eyes closed. The redhead quickly affirmed that sleeping could also be an art…

His smile widened and he leaned to kiss Rukawa's head, slowly and carefully as not to wake him up. 

The room was actually cold due to the air condition unit but he still felt warm all over although he was naked. _They_ were naked. And only but the white blanket covered them. He recalled contentedly what happened… and how they got in _that_ position…

/flashback/ (a long one I guess ^^;)

Rukawa was speechless upon hearing his, Sakuragi's, confession and only uttered a silent, "Oh…"

Sakuragi actually felt nervous, anticipating rejection that he knew and experienced too well. But Rukawa only nodded as if what he heard was nothing. Then Sakuragi felt light drizzle and he and Rukawa both looked up and stared at the gray sky. The light drizzle slowly changed to a harsh rain and the two were forced to run. Fortunately, Rukawa's apartment was not so far from them already and they got in there safely before the rain poured madly. 

"Here…" Rukawa offered a dry and newly washed towel to Sakuragi as the latter struggle with untying his shoes. Impatiently, the Rukawa wiped the redhead's dripping locks. Sakuragi lifted his head and smiled thankfully and got the towel from Rukawa and dried himself. Rukawa then made his way to the kitchen and prepared two cups of hot chocolate.

The room only had one couch and there they sat while silently sipping their own mugs. 

Then Sakuragi already firmed his decision. He placed the mug on the table and faced Rukawa who was still drinking. Finding the time was not right he relaxed himself at the couch and closed his eyes trying to regain his composure.

"Would you never love a man, Kaede?" the redhead silently asked. His eyes were still closed. He was recalling his recent conversation with Kaede, jabs of pain creeping his heart as he remembered Kaede saying that he did not know love.

"I don't know… I never," Rukawa paused knowing that what he would say was a lie, he continued, "I never loved a girl before what more a man…"

"Do you hate me now for telling you that I love you?" Sakuragi asked not caring about anything anymore but to know what Rukawa was feeling.

Rukawa placed his own mug at the table and faced Sakuragi. Sakuragi faced him as well. 

"Hana… I… I can't understand you… how could you love me?"

"I don't know either," Sakuragi started lowering his gaze, "All I know is that I love you… I don't care about anything anymore Kaede…" He returned his gaze to Kaede, reached out his hand to stroke the other boy's face. "I'm not asking you to love me back, I just…"

His eyes were getting heavy already. He wanted just to lean and kiss Kaede on the lips yet he tried controlling himself knowing fully well that the outcome might not be too good. 

"I just… wanted to tell you I love you…"

"Hana…"

But the atmosphere was getting too heavy for him add up with Kaede's voice… he felt himself leaning slowly, his lips meeting Kaede's. The kiss was chaste and sweet but with feelings overwhelming, it turned to a deep and intense one. 

/end of flashback/ (^^;;)

Kaede looked so strong and cold outside, when he's playing basketball or just simply standing. But lying down underneath a man, he looked so vulnerable and almost… feminine…

Sakuragi closed his eyes once more enjoying the moment and reminiscing the night of their making love. He was hearing Kaede's voice again, how the latter uttered his name lovingly, how his monotonous voice changed to a subtle and sobbing one. How Kaede writhe underneath him as he thrust inside him. How Kaede wrapped his arms around his back and even burying his nails deeply leaving slightly marks.

Kaede looked more than beautiful last night… his face flushed and eyes blurred and feverish… lips swollen from torturous kiss… hair tousled wet from sweet sweat… Sakuragi fell for him more and silently hoped that he could see that look of his love again… with him.

Kaede did not tell him that he loved him. He did not even speak any words that would mean that he felt the same way. But knowing the raven boy fully well, Sakuragi felt his hope rising. Kaede gave himself to him last night and that meant a lot… 

The phone rang. Afraid that it might wake Rukawa, Sakuragi quickly yet carefully grabbed it from the night table. 

"Ohayou…" he greeted.

"Ah… Kaede? Is that you?" It was Sendoh and Sakuragi felt nervous and irate at the same time. 

"No. This is Sakuragi."

It took a long time before Sendoh responded with a cheerful voice. "Oh! Sakuragi! Hi! What are you doing at Kaede's house early in the morning?" 

Sakuragi was sure he heard a tone of anticipation from Sendoh. "Ah… nothing… just hanging around…" Sakuragi answered making sure that his voice would not wake up the slumbering beauty in his arms.

"Ah… I see… can I talk to Kaede?"

"He's sleeping…" the redhead answered unconsciously as his eyes darted back to Rukawa's sleeping form again… the sight was too captivating…

"I see…"

Sakuragi waited for Sendoh to continue but realizing that it would take him years, he inquired, "Do you have something important to tell him?"

"Ah, nothing," Sendoh retorted with a lesser lively and softer tone. "Well then, ja ne! Thanks anyway…'" and the spiky-head hung up.

Sakuragi felt Kaede stirred a little only to snuggle closer to him. Sakuragi smiled. Seeing Kaede like this… he seemed so fragile. 

Realizing that he was snuggling with a warm, harder and broader 'something', unlike his usual pillow, he slowly opened his eyes and learned that he was actually leaning to someone's chest. Surprised and all, he still managed to lift his head carefully and calmly and stared at two brown pools looking at him intently. 

"Ohayou…" Sakuragi whispered huskily. Rukawa only blinked and recalled what happened.

"Aa… ohayou…" he replied softly. He lowered his gaze and silently observed their current state. Their legs were tangled to one another. His head was resting against Sakuragi's strong bicep and the latter's other arm was wrapped around his waist. Rukawa slightly blushed. 

"Had a good sleep?" the redhead asked tenderly smelling the scent of Kaede's hair. 

Rukawa nodded once then slowly turned around to check the time. "Hana… a…"

Knowing what his lover wanted to say, Sakuragi smiled softly and kissed Rukawa's head, 'Aa… I should be going now… I'll meet you later, na?"

Rukawa nodded again and lifted himself to sit. Sakuragi's hand was still on his waist. 

Sakuragi smoothly left the bed and started picking up his clothes. Rukawa blushed upon unintentionally seeing the redhead's nakedness.

"Do you want to have breakfast before you go?" Rukawa suddenly asked feeling a little ashamed of himself blushing. 

"I would love to but I bet you still wanted to sleep," Sakuragi retorted, still smiling contentedly while zipping his pants. 

_So true…_ Rukawa thought and feigned a smile. "You know me so well…" 

"Of course, I'm a tensai," the redhead went to him while putting on his shirt. Then he sat beside the still bare Rukawa only wrapped in blanket. Sakuragi stroked the pale face of the raven boy and pulled his head gently for another kiss. "I love you…"

"I know…"

"I'll see you later, okay? You're tired, you should rest," Sakuragi reminded Rukawa and then stood up, picked his sports bag and went to the door. He looked back at Rukawa before he opened the door and left. 

Hearing the soft thud of the door, Rukawa smacked his face with both hands, disgusted.

How could he have lost to himself?

The truth was…

When Hanamichi kissed him, he remembered Akira kissing him. The first time Akira kissed him… chaste and sweet at first then suddenly possessive and intense… He did not know how could that be possible but all the while he thought it was Akira. How could he lose to his own subconscious? More so, how could he hope it was someone and a guy for that matter? How could he think it was Akira? He only realized it too late and Sakuragi was already laying him down the bed. He was shocked upon realizing it yet he could only moan feeling Sakuragi inside him, slowly and gently thrusting himself to him. Rukawa felt himself calling Hanamichi's name… good thing he did not call Sendoh… Why would he anyway? He clearly knew right then and there that it was Hanamichi…

Was he fooling Hanamichi then? Was he lying to him? Was he using him just to… just to think of other _man_? 

He knew it was wrong.

He did not want to hurt Hanamichi in the first place. He did not want the other to think that he was just using him to satisfy his… yearning for someone else. And now what did he do? He actually made Hanamichi believe and expect.

So maybe then, he should just let things this way… 

For Hanamichi…

But what about Akira?

On the other hand, Sendoh was preparing his breakfast for milk and cereal. He was unusually sluggish and dreary. 

Sakuragi was at Rukawa's house… and it was only, what, about six in the morning? And Rukawa was sleeping? What did that mean? 

That Sakuragi slept with Rukawa? 

Sendoh knew that he was being judgmental and it was not right to think that way. Kaede was never someone who would just sleep with anyone else…

Yet it was Hanamichi. And the two had been fairly close friends… and maybe even more? 

He felt a stab of jealousy. 

If that's the case then, if Kaede was happy with Sakuragi, maybe he should just let him go… But that would not mean that he's going to stop loving the raven boy and that was what hurt him most… that he could only love Kaede silently from afar…

Sendoh sighed. Tomorrow would be back to school again… maybe that would help him forget… There were many girls who were willing to be his slave… and there was even Hiroaki Koshino… someone who loved him. Sendoh already knew Koshino's feeling but the two of them were still trying to act the usual… that they were only best friends… and his best friend was right for saying that Sendoh was falling for Rukawa although before, Sendoh kept on insisting that he was not. 

And now Koshino proved right…

And Sendoh felt guilty knowing that Koshino knew all along that he loved Rukawa and yet Koshino still loved him. Maybe he should give Koshino a chance. Maybe he would forget Rukawa soon. Maybe… just maybe…

For now though, things were still uncertain… maybe he should just find things out and then decide…

To be continued…

^_^ Thanks for actually reaching this part! Whew! Part 19 right??? One or two more to go and this is already finish. Well then… what do you think?


	20. Day Ends

Expectations                                                                                                                                                                     

Author: miku

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. 

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai (boy/boy relationship) and if that offends you, better leave. I may add some lime or something like that (m.a.y.b.e) but I'll warn you before you can proceed.

Hmm… I'm wondering if this is the end… let me see… @.@

Sorry for ruining any of your expectations minna! Don't hate me HanaRu and SenRu fans. Eh? You're already guessing what happened? Anway, sorry for taking too long to update. I've written the ending days ago… just haven't found the time to publish it. 

Anyway, as I've said, the ending is… well… WAAAAA! I don't know what happened really why things suddenly went this way! WAAAAAA!!!! Oh… but I'll make it up with my next fic! ^_~ 

Akira, don't cry please. ^^;;;

Nakkie, I know you'll have a hard feeling on this one again, I guess. ^^;;

And thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them! ^_^

Oooh… one more thing… I really don't know when school days start in Japan. In this fic, it's… well… er… weeks before Valentines. Ehehehe… I'm sorry… ehehehe… you won't mind anyway, right? Right.

Part 20

Day Ends

School days again. Rukawa had just pulled his bicycle when Sakuragi came grinning cheerfully. 

"Kaede!" he greeted and ran to the raven boy excitedly. With one arm he pulled Rukawa and kissed him lightly on the forehead. "Ohayou… early today, na?"

Rukawa just snorted and propped the bicycle back to the wall. He would not need it anymore. Sakuragi came to walk him to school today and he would not want cycling his way while the other running to catch to him. Perhaps Hanamichi would also walk him back home at the afternoon. That was there usual routine anyway. It was actually easier to bring his bike along but then… 

"Want to change at least something," Rukawa replied and freed himself from the redhead and started walking. Sakuragi followed smirking. 

"Really now? That's so unlikely of you," Hanamichi teased as he made his way beside the raven boy. He swung one arm swiftly to Kaede's shoulder and drew him to a gentle squeeze. Then he quickly removed his hold from Rukawa knowing fully well that the latter did not want public display of affection. 

"Oi! Rukawa! Sakuragi!" the familiar jovial voice of Hikoichi brought the two to stop and turn to greet the boy. 

  
"Ah! Hikoichi! Ohayou!" Sakuragi greeted beaming widely yet his smile faltered upon seeing Sendoh just walking beside Hikoichi. Sendoh was still smiling yet there was a visible trace of sadness in them and Hanamichi knew why. It was the same reason why he was feigning a smile right now. He glanced to Kaede who was slightly bitting his lower lip yet eyes still trying to hide any emotions. Sakuragi felt guilty all of the sudden.

It was his fault at the first place.

Sendoh was the first one who loved Rukawa and it was not because of any foolish reason.

Sendoh was the first one to confess that love to the raven boy and even to the world. 

Yet he had Rukawa now and Sakuragi felt a bit unfair. What was his right to be Kaede's lover? Did he not plan of hurting him before? However, just looking at Kaede assured him that his decision was not wrong, although he was not sure if it was right. 

"Hi there, Sakuragi! Kaede…" Sendoh greeted.

"Aa… going to school?" Hanamichi asked cursing himself inside for acting as a good liar. 

So was Sendoh, anyway.

He wanted to punch Sakuragi right then and there. He had seen the redhead kissed Rukawa. Hikoichi saw it too and was quite stunned. That was the reason why they confronted the two now. Hikoichi wanted to know what's between the two Shohoku players. Sendoh could not do anything but to follow. He would not want for Hikoichi to suspect. After all, the Ryonan Team knew Sendoh's _fascination_ to Sakuragi and Rukawa. But that was before. His fascination to Rukawa grew to love and to Sakuragi was hate. Well… not that he wanted to hate the redhead. He was actually trying to make himself believe that it was no one's fault.

But who could blame him anyway? He had loved Kaede so much that just seeing him with someone pained him torturously. Yet he promised just yesterday that he would try to forget, right? And he was trying.

"Nah, we just saw you two. It's been a long time, na?" Hikoichi answered. 

"Yeah…" Sakuragi agreed.

Silence.

Hikoichi wanted to ask, or rather, hear that Sakuragi and Rukawa already developed a relationship. But he did not know how to open it up. He shifted his feet. The atmosphere was different today too. Actually, he thought that it would not be very difficult to ask Sakuragi and Rukawa his _question_ especially with Sendoh – who was so good with cornering and teasing people, beside him. However, the scene was not right. Sendoh was quiet all along. Sakuragi was not his usual proud self. Rukawa was the only one 'normal' if one could say that his abnormal silence was _normal_. 

"Anyway, we should be going already. Kaede wanted to be early today," the redhead suddenly spoke breaking the rising tension. Then he looked at Kaede teasingly and the latter just snorted.

"Uh yeah…" Hikoichi murmured finding himself lost for words. 

It was clear already although he did not ask. Just seeing Sakuragi's look to Kaede and kissing him was enough as evidence. It was not new to him though. He had seen Sendoh and Koshino together sometimes and acting more than best friends. He had teased the two Ryonan players about that before but they just laughed at it. Hikoichi suddenly felt the urge to tease Sendoh about _that_ again…

"I guess you should be early from now on too, Sendoh-san. Koshino-san would be glad if you did, na?" Hikoichi said, his eyes narrowed slyly hoping to get his expected reaction from Sendoh.

But Sendoh did not laugh. 

The spiky-head just narrowed his eyes slightly and smiled wistfully uttering a soft, "Right…"

And Rukawa felt a thug in his heart and he knew exactly why. Before he could expose any emotions to the three, Kaede gracefully turned and started walking slowly. Sakuragi ran to him and bid farewell to the two Ryonan players who just stood in their places; Hikoichi was confused and Sendoh was cheerless. The morning was not a good start.

************

Weeks passed and many things changed. The Shohoku Team's basketball practice had been smooth lately having no more often fight from the 'kitsune' and the 'do 'aho'. The team knew why anyway. They were surprised at first but then finding no negative effects yet, rather, the gameplay of Sakuragi improved and Kaede's remain the same, they finally got used to it. But they did not allow the whole school to know; only the basketball team. They could not expect other people to accept such relationship anyway. And Haruko did not know too. But Sakuragi's constant show of obsession had already vanished. 

And also…

The usual one-on-ones of Rukawa and Sendoh was no more. They found silent excuse to themselves with school works and practices although they need not to reason out with one another. There were no more communications too.

And that was what Rukawa regretted.

He missed Sendoh's company. 

But then, if he would just continue to spend time with the other boy, things might only get more complicated. After all, he should be happy with Sakuragi now. And Sendoh…

Well he heard from Hikoichi that Sendoh and Koshino was already a couple. But like his relationship with Sakuragi, it was kept secret from public except for some close friends. Kaede knew that hiding his relationship with Hana was all right. After all, he was not the showy kind of person. But Sendoh… he knew Sendoh was someone who would could never be silent with his feelings for a long time.

_But nothing is wrong with love…_ Kaede recalled Hanamichi telling him before. Perhaps. If it was true then, he should not be ashamed of letting the people know his relationship with Hanamichi, right? 

But then he was not ready. More so… he had never actually told Sakuragi the words "I love you". He felt it unfair for Hana who was never hesitant of telling him those words. Maybe someday… someday he could utter those words to him… someday…

Yet now… he still needed to forget someone…

He felt Hanamichi's arms wrapping around his waist. Rukawa stiffened for a moment but then quickly relaxed being used to this already. He turned his head slowly to meet Hanamichi's eyes. 

"I have plans for tonight," the redhead started planting a chaste kiss to Kaede's lips. 

It was Valentines day, Rukawa remembered. He nodded and leaned back to Hanamichi and while continuing fixing his things on the locker. "Tell me," he asked softly.

"I want it to be a surprise. I'll fetch you tonight okay?" 

Rukawa nodded once.

"Would it be alright if I don't walk you home today?" 

Kaede closed the locker door, turned and faced his lover. He slightly smiled reassuring the other boy. "Yes. What time tonight?" 

"Eight?"

Rukawa nodded. 

The two left the locker room silently and separated ways at the school gate. 

He had received so many chocolates that day. But that was already a typical situation during Valentines Day. Good thing, Sakuragi's friends were there to eat most of them. He was a little relieved having the guntam along. Since the day Sakuragi confessed to his guntam about his relationship with Rukawa, they had been fairly close. 

He sighed and looked at the surrounding. It was already late in the afternoon. Actually, he intended to leave the gym so late knowing that if he did not, he would only have to confront many invitations for dates. How he was annoyed of them. 

He sighed for the second time when someone spoke a little far beside him. 

"I have been waiting for you," the man started and Kaede abruptly turned obviously surprised. He knew the owner of that voice too well and he was right. Akira was standing in one of the light post, smiling gently. "Would you not mind spending some minute with me?" Sendoh continued making his way to Rukawa. 

Kaede nodded.

He still had not yet forgotten… how much he tried… yet he knew it was futile… everything was futile… forgetting Sendoh and loving Hanamichi, loving Sendoh and hurting Hanamichi… Rukawa did not want to choose.

They walked together going to Kaede's way to home. They passed by a bridge and they stopped there captivated by the sunset. 

Kaede leaned to the railings as Sendoh did too. Both just stared at the scenic view, enjoying the silent company of one another. 

How much they missed this…

Yet… things were different now…

"Are you happy with Sakuragi, Kaede?" Sendoh finally asked. 

"Yes…" he answered softly knowing that it was somewhat a lie. He could smile whenever he's with Hanamichi but he was not at peace. He was not contented. He just knew that he should be happy with Hanamichi yet sometimes it was difficult. 

"I'm satisfied. I'm glad knowing you are happy with him the way I am with Hiro-kun…" Sendoh lied too. But it was what he should feel. He did not want to betray Koshino. He loved him. He cared for him. Yet…

Kaede shifted position to stare at Sendoh. He wanted to let Akira know the truth but he knew it would not do anything good. It would only worsen their state. 

But it hurt so much to hide it anymore. 

But it would hurt more if they would not stop the feeling. 

"Akira…" Kaede unintentionally uttered. He missed the sound of the name from his lips. He missed everything about the man just standing next to him… so close yet he could not touch him…

Sendoh turned to face Rukawa. He was still smiling but sadness was visibly present. His eyes were not sparkling with the usual enthusiasm it had but with unshed tear…

"Don't Kaede…" _Don't be guilty, don't pity me, don't blame yourself, and don't care about me anymore… _"Maybe things should really be this way, na? But it doesn't mean I'll stop loving you…" _Although I'll be only fooling Hiroaki and myself…_

"Akira…" 

How much Rukawa hated himself for this – for being unable to tell his feelings to Sendoh. How many times had he failed him? How many times had his vanity and cowardice hurt Sendoh?  

"I just wanted to see you… happy valentines day…" _And happy birthday for me…_ Sendoh uttered softly fighting the urge to pull Kaede and embrace him. 

Kaede nodded slowly, avoiding meeting Sendoh's eyes. "You too, happy valentines… to you and… Koshino…"

"Yeah… say my regards with Sakuragi…"

"Aa…"

"I'm going now, na?" Sendoh said as he stepped slowly backward. Kaede was still not looking at him, head lowered and bangs darkly covered  his eyes. 

Rukawa nodded.

"Take care of yourself always…"

Another nod.

"Sayonara…" Sendoh bid as he walked away.

One last nod.

"Sayo…na…ra…" Kaede whispered to himself as tears began to fall. He never moved from his position, his head still lowered, hands clutching the railings of the bridge, shoulders trembling uncontrollably. The sun already vanished  its light gone and swallowed by the sea…

**_~~Owari~~_**

Oh… so this is really the last part…

It's done minna! Sorry for the sad ending… but there's a sequel for this story, and I'll try to be kinder to Sendoh and Rukawa there… I'm planning for it to be a one-shot… anyway… what do you think? Don't hate me please… I'm sorry… I'm sad too… *sob*

Now, now… all feedbacks are already welcome. Flames and criticisms too. I'm not a very good writer but I just needed to free my mind with all the stories stored there… Thanks for reading and finishing "Expectations"… Ehehe… Domo Arigatou!


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